Framley Parsonage.docx
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Framley Parsonage.docx
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FramleyParsonage
FourShortPlaysbyJohnGalsworthyCONTENTS:
HALL-MARKED
DEFEAT
THESUN
PUNCHANDGO
HALL-MARKED
ASATIRICTRIFLE
CHARACTERS
HERSELF.
LADYELLA.
THESQUIRE.
THEMAID.
MAUD.
THERECTOR.
THEDOCTOR.
THECABMAN.
HANNIBALandEDWARD
HALL-MARKED
Thesceneisthesitting-roomandverandahofHERbungalow.
Theroomispleasant,andalongtheback,wheretheverandahruns,itseemsallwindow,bothFrenchandcasement.Thereisadoorrightandadoorleft.Thedayisbright;thetimemorning.
[HERSELF,drippingwet,comesrunningalongtheverandah,throughtheFrenchwindow,withawetScotchterrierinherarms.Shevanishesthroughthedoorleft.Alittlepause,andLADYELLAcomesrunning,dry,thin,refined,andagitated.Shehaltswherethetracksofwaterceaseatthedoorleft.Alittlepause,andMAUDcomesrunning,fairlydry,stolid,breathless,anddraggingabull-dog,wet,breathless,andstout,bythecrutchendofher'en-tout-cas'].
LADYELLA.Don'tbringHannibalintillIknowwhereshe'sputEdward!
MAUD.[Brutally,toHANNIBAL]Baddog!
Baddog!
[HANNIBALsnuffles.]
LADYELLA.Maud,dotakehimout!
Tiehimup.Here!
[Shetakesoutalacehandkerchief]No--somethingstronger!
PoordarlingEdward!
[ToHANNIBAL]Youareabaddog!
[HANNIBALsnuffles.]
MAUD.Edwardbeganit,Ella.[ToHANNIBAL]Baddog!
Baddog!
[HANNIBALsnuffles.]
LADYELLA.Tiehimupoutside.Here,takemyscarf.Whereismypoortreasure?
[Sheremovesherscarf]Catch!
Hisear'storn;Isawit.
MAUD.[Takingthescarf,toHANNIBAL]Now!
[HANNIBALsnuffles.]
[Shetiesthescarftohiscollar]
Hesmellshorrible.Baddog--gettingintopondstofight!
LADYELLA.Tiehimup,Maud.Imusttryinhere.
[Theirhusbands,THESQUIREandTHERECTOR,comehasteningalongtheverandah.]
MAUD.[ToTHERECTOR]Smellhim,Bertie!
[ToTHESQUIRE]Youmighthavethatponddrained,Squire!
[ShetakesHANNIBALout,andtieshimtotheverandah.THESQUIREandRECTORComein.LADYELLAisknockingonthedoorleft.]
HERVOICE.Allright!
I'veboundhimup!
LADYELLA.MayIcomein?
HERVOICE.Justasecond!
I'vegotnothingon.
[LADYELLArecoils.THESQUIREandRECTORmakeaninvoluntarymovementofapproach.]
LADYELLA.Oh!
Thereyouare!
THERECTOR.[Doubtfully]Iwasjustgoingtowadein----LADYELLA.Hannibalwouldhavekilledhim,ifshehadn'trushedin!
THESQUIRE.Donehimgood,littlebeast!
LADYELLA.Whydidn'tyougoin,Tommy?
THESQUIRE.Well,Iwould--onlyshe----
LADYELLA.Ican'tthinkhowshegotEdwardoutofHannibal'sawfulmouth!
MAUD.[Without--toHANNIBAL,whoissnufflingontheverandahandstrainingatthescarf]Baddog!
LADYELLA.Wemustsimplythankhertremendously!
Ishallneverforgetthewaysheranin,withherskirtsuptoherwaist!
THESQUIRE.ByJove!
No.Itwastopping.
LADYELLA.Herclothesmustberuined.Thatpond--ugh!
[Shewrinkleshernose]Tommy,dohaveitdrained.
THERECTOR.[Dreamily]Idon'trememberherfaceinchurch.
THESQUIRE.Ah!
Yes.Whoisshe?
Prettywoman!
LADYELLA.ImustgettheVet.toEdward.[ToTHESQUIRE]Tommy,doexertyourself!
[MAUDre-enters.]
THESQUIRE.Allright!
[Exertinghimself]Here'sabell!
HERVOICE.[Throughthedoor]Thebleeding'sstopped.ShallIsendhimintoyou?
LADYELLA.Oh,please!
Poordarling!
[Theylisten.]
[LADYELLA,preparestoreceiveEDWARD.THESQUIREandRECTORstandtransfixed.Thedooropens,andabarearmgentlypushesEDWARDforth.Heisbandagedwithasmoothtowel.Thereisasnuffle--HANNIBALhasbrokenthescarf,outside.
LADYELLA.[Aghast]Look!
Hannibal'sloose!
Maud--Tommy.[ToTHERECTOR]You!
[TheTHREErushtopreventHANNIBALfromre-entering.]
LADYELLA.[ToEDWARD]Yes,Iknow--you'dliketo!
YouSHALLbitehimwhenit'ssafe.Oh!
mydarling,youDO----[Shesniffs].
[MAUDandTHESQUIREre-enter.]
Haveyoutiedhimproperlythistime?
MAUD.WithBertie'sbraces.
LADYELLA.Oh!
but----
MAUD.It'sallright;they'realmostleather.
[THERECTORre-enters,withaslightlookofinsecurity.]
LADYELLA.Rector,areyousureit'ssafe?
THERECTOR.[Hitchingathistrousers]No,indeed,LADYElla--I----LADYELLA.Tommy,dolendahand!
THESQUIRE.Allright,Ella;allright!
Hedoesn'tmeanwhatyoumean!
LADYELLA.[TransferringEDWARDtoTHESQUIRE]Holdhim,Tommy.
He'ssuretosmelloutHannibal!
THESQUIRE.[TakingEDWARDbythecollar,andholdinghisownnose]
Jove!
Cleverifhecansmellanythingbuthimself.Phew!
SheoughttohavetheVictoriaCrossforgoin'inthatpond.
[Thedooropens,andHERSELFappears;afine,frank,handsomewoman,inaman'sorange-colouredmotor-coat,hastilythrownonoverthesubstrataofcostume.]
SHE.Soverysorry--hadtohaveabath,andchange,ofcourse!
LADYELLA.We'resoawfullygratefultoyou.Itwassplendid.
MAUD.Quite.
THERECTOR.[Ratherholdinghimselftogether]Heroic!
Iwasjustmyselfaboutto----THESQUIRE.[RestrainingEDWARD]Littlebeastwillfight--mustapologise--youweretooquickforme----[Helooksupather.Sheissmiling,andregardingthewoundeddog,herheadbenevolentlyononeside.]
SHE.Poordears!
Theythoughttheyweresosafeinthatnicepond!
LADYELLA.Isheverybadlytorn?
SHE.Rathernasty.Thereoughttobeastitchortwoputinhisear.
LADYELLA.Ithoughtso.Tommy,do----
THESQUIRE.Allright.AmItolethimgo?
LADYELLA.No.
MAUD.Thefly'soutside.Bertie,runandtellJarvistodriveinfortheVet.
THERECTOR.[Gentleandembarrassed]Run?
Well,Maud--I----SHE.Thedoctorwouldsewitup.Mymaidcangoround.
[HANNIBAL.appearsattheopencasementwiththebrokenbracesdanglingfromhiscollar.]
LADYELLA.Look!
Catchhim!
Rector!
MAUD.Bertie!
Catchhim!
[THERECTORseizesHANNIBAL,butisseentobeindifficultieswithhisgarments.HERSELF,whohasgoneoutleft,returns,withaleatherstropinonehandandapairofbracesintheother.]
SHE.Takethisstrop--hecan'tbreakthat.Andwouldthesebeanygoodtoyou?
[SHEhandsthebracestoMAUDandgoesoutontotheverandahandhastilyaway.MAUD,transferringthebracestotheRECTOR,goesout,drawsHANNIBALfromthecasementwindow,andsecureshimwiththestrap.THERECTORsitssuddenlywiththebracesinhishands.Thereisamoment'speace.]
LADYELLA.Splendid,isn'tshe?
Idoadmireher.
THESQUIRE.She'sallthere.
THERECTOR.[Feelingly]Mostkind.
[HelooksruefullyatthebracesandatLADYELLA.Asilence.
MAUDreappearsatthedoorandstandsgazingatthebraces.]
THESQUIRE.[Suddenly]Eh?
MAUD.Yes.
THESQUIRE.[Lookingathiswife]Ah!
LADYELLA.[AbsorbedinEDWARD]Poordarling!
THESQUIRE.[Bluntly]Ella,theRectorwantstogetup!
THERECTOR.[Gently]Perhaps--justforamoment----LADYELLA.Oh!
[Sheturnstothewall.]
[THERECTOR,screenedbyhisWIFE,retiresontotheverandahtoadjusthisgarments.]
THESQUIRE.[Meditating]Soshe'smarried!
LADYELLA.[AbsorbedinEDWARD]Why?
THESQUIRE.Braces.
LADYELLA.Oh!
Yes.Weoughttoaskthemtodinner,Tommy.
THESQUIRE.Ah!
Yes.Wonderwhotheyare?
[THERECTORandMAUDreappear.]
THERECTOR.Reallyverygoodofhertolendherhusband's--Iwas--er--quite----MAUD.That'lldo,Bertie.
[THEYseeHERreturningalongtheverandah,followedbyasandy,red-facedgentlemaninleatherleggings,withaneedleandcottoninhishand.]
HERSELF.Caughtthedoctorjuststarting,Solucky!
LADYELLA.Oh!
Thankgoodness!
DOCTOR.Howdo,LadyElla?
Howdo,Squire?
--howdo,Rector?
[ToMAUD]Howdedo?
Thisthebeastie?
Isee.Quite!
Who'llholdhimforme?
LADYELLA.Oh!
I!
HERSELF.D'youknow,IthinkI'dbetter.It'ssodreadfulwhenit'syourown,isn'tit?
Shallwegoinhere,doctor?
Comealong,prettyboy!
[ShetakesEDWARD,andtheypassintotheroom,left.]
LADYELLA.Idreadedit.Sheissplendid!
THESQUIRE.Dogstaketoher.That'sasuresign.
THERECTOR.Littlethings--onecanalwaystell.
THESQUIRE.Somethingveryattractiveabouther--what!
Finebuildofwoman.
MAUD.Ishallgetholdofherforparishwork.
THERECTOR.Ah!
Excellent--excellent!
Do!
THESQUIRE.Wonderifherhusbandshoots?
Sheseemsquite-er--quite----LADYELLA.[Watchingthedoor]Quite!
Altogethercharming;oneofthenicestfacesIeversaw.
[THEDOCTORcomesoutalone.]
Oh!
Doctor--haveyou?
isit----?
DOCTOR.Rightasrain!
Sheheldhimlikeanangel--hejustlickedher,andnevermadeasound.
LADYELLA.Poordarling!
CanI----
[Shesignstowardthedoor.]
DOCTOR.Betterleave'emaminute.She'smoppin''imoff.[Hewrinkleshisnose]Wonderfulcleverhands!
THESQUIRE.Isay--whoisshe?
DOCTOR.[Lookingfromfacetofacewithadubiousandratherquizzicalexpression]Who?
Well--thereyouhaveme!
AllIknowisshe'safirst-ratenurse--beenhelpin'mewithacaseinDitchLane.
Nicewoman,too--thoroughgoodsort!
Quiteanacquisitionhere.
H'm!
[Againthatquizzicalglance]Excusemehurryin'off--verylate.Good-bye,Rector.Good-bye,LadyElla.Good-bye!
[Hegoes.Asilence.]
THESQUIRE.H'm!
Isupposeweoughttobeabitcareful.
[JARVIS,flymanoftheoldschool,hasappearedontheverandah.]
JARVIS.[ToTHERECTOR]Begpardon,sir.Isthelittledogallright?
MAUD.Yes.
JARVIS.[Touchinghishat]Seein'you'vemissedyourtrain,m'm,shallIwait,andtakeyou'omeagain?
MAUD.No.
JARVIS.Cert'nly,m'm.[Hetoucheshishatwithacirculargesture,andisabouttowithdraw.]
LADYELLA.Oh,Jarvis--what'sthenameofthepeoplehere?
JARVIS.Challenger'sthenameI'vedriven'emin,mylady.
THESQUIRE.Challenger?
Soundslikeahound.What'shelike?
JARVIS.[Scratchinghishead]Wearsasoft'at,sir.
THESQUIRE.H'm!
Ah!
JARVIS.Verynicegentleman,verynicelady.'Elpedmewithmyoldmarewhenshe'adthe'ighsterialastweek--couldn'
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