Chapter 166.docx
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Chapter 166.docx
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Chapter166
Chapter16
MARIANNEwouldhavethoughtherselfveryinexcusablehadshebeenabletosleepatallthefirstnightafterpartingfromWilloughby.Shewouldhavebeenashamedtolookherfamilyinthefacethenextmorning,hadshenotrisenfromherbedinmoreneedofreposethanwhenshelaydowninit.Butthefeelingswhichmadesuchcomposureadisgrace,leftherinnodangerofincurringit.Shewasawakethewholenight,andsheweptthegreatestpartofit.Shegotupwithaheadache,wasunabletotalk,andunwillingtotakeanynourishment;givingpaineverymomenttohermotherandsisters,andforbiddingallattemptatconsolationfromeither.Hersensibilitywaspotentenough!
Whenbreakfastwasovershewalkedoutbyherself,andwanderedaboutthevillageofAllenham,indulgingtherecollectionofpastenjoyment,andcryingoverthepresentreverseforthechiefofthemorning.
Theeveningpassedoffintheequalindulgenceoffeeling.SheplayedovereveryfavouritesongthatshehadbeenusedtoplaytoWilloughby,everyairinwhichtheirvoiceshadbeenoftenestjoined,andsatattheinstrumentgazingoneverylineofmusicthathehadwrittenoutforher,tillherheartwassoheavythatnofarthersadnesscouldbegained;andthisnourishmentofgriefwaseverydayapplied.Shespentwholehoursatthepiano-forte,alternatelysingingandcrying;hervoiceoftentotallysuspendedbyhertears.Inbooks,too,aswellasinmusic,shecourtedthemiserywhichacontrastbetweenthepastandpresentwascertainofgiving.Shereadnothingbutwhattheyhadbeenusedtoreadtogether.Suchviolenceofafflictionindeedcouldnotbesupportedforever;itsunkwithinafewdaysintoacalmermelancholy;buttheseemployments,towhichshedailyrecurred,hersolitarywalksandsilentmeditations,stillproducedoccasionaleffusionsofsorrowaslivelyasever.
NoletterfromWilloughbycame;andnoneseemedexpectedbyMarianne.Hermotherwassurprised,andElinoragainbecameuneasy.ButMrs.Dashwoodcouldfindexplanationswhenevershewantedthem,whichatleastsatisfiedherself."Remember,Elinor,"saidshe,"howveryoftenSirJohnfetchesourlettersfromthepost,andcarriesthemtoit.Wehavealreadyagreedthatsecrecymaybenecessary,andwemustacknowledgethatitcouldnotbemaintainediftheircorrespondenceweretopassthroughSirJohn'shands."Elinorcouldnotdenythetruthofthis,andshetriedtofindinitamotivesufficientfortheirsilence.Buttherewasonemethodsodirect,sosimple,andinheropinionsoeligible,ofknowingtherealstateoftheaffairandofinstantlyremovingallmystery,thatshecouldnothelpsuggestingittohermother."WhydoyounotaskMarianneatonce,"saidshe,"whethersheisorsheisnotengagedtoWilloughby?
Fromyou,hermother,andsokind,soindulgentamother,thequestioncouldnotgiveoffence.Itwouldbethenaturalresultofyouraffectionforher.Sheusedtobeallunreserve,andtoyoumoreespecially.""Iwouldnotasksuchaquestionfortheworld.Supposingitpossiblethattheyarenotengaged,whatdistresswouldnotsuchanenquiryinflict!
Atanyrateitwouldbemostungenerous.Ishouldneverdeserveherconfidenceagain,afterforcingfromheraconfessionofwhatismeantatpresenttobeunacknowledgedtoanyone.IknowMarianne'sheart:
Iknowthatshedearlylovesme,andthatIshallnotbethelasttowhomtheaffairismadeknown,whencircumstancesmaketherevealmentofiteligible.Iwouldnotattempttoforcetheconfidenceofanyone;ofachildmuchless;becauseasenseofdutywouldpreventthedenialwhichherwishesmightdirect."Elinorthoughtthisgenerosityoverstrained,consideringhersister'syouth,andurgedthematterfarther,butinvain;commonsense,commoncare,commonprudence,wereallsunkinMrs.Dashwood'sromanticdelicacy.
ItwasseveraldaysbeforeWilloughby'snamewasmentionedbeforeMariannebyanyofherfamily;SirJohnandMrs.Jennings,indeed,werenotsonice;theirwitticismsaddedpaintomanyapainfulhour;butoneevening,Mrs.Dashwood,accidentallytakingupavolumeofShakespeare,exclaimed,"WehaveneverfinishedHamlet,Marianne;ourdearWilloughbywentawaybeforewecouldgetthroughit.Wewillputitby,thatwhenhecomesagain-;butitmaybemonths,perhaps,beforethathappens.""Months!
"criedMarianne,withstrongsurprise."No-normanyweeks."Mrs.Dashwoodwassorryforwhatshehadsaid;butitgaveElinorpleasure,asitproducedareplyfromMariannesoexpressiveofconfidenceinWilloughbyandknowledgeofhisintentions.Onemorning,aboutaweekafterhisleavingthecountry,Mariannewasprevailedontojoinhersistersintheirusualwalk,insteadofwanderingawaybyherself.Hithertoshehadcarefullyavoidedeverycompanioninherrambles.Ifhersistersintendedtowalkonthedowns,shedirectlystoleawaytowardsthelanes;iftheytalkedofthevalley,shewasasspeedyinclimbingthehills,andcouldneverbefoundwhentheotherssetoff.ButatlengthshewassecuredbytheexertionsofElinor,whogreatlydisapprovedsuchcontinualseclusion.Theywalkedalongtheroadthroughthevalley,andchieflyinsilence,forMarianne'smindcouldnotbecontrolled,andElinor,satisfiedwithgainingonepoint,wouldnotthenattemptmore.Beyondtheentranceofthevalley,wherethecountry,thoughstillrich,waslesswildandmoreopen,alongstretchoftheroadwhichtheyhadtravelledonfirstcomingtoBartonlaybeforethem;andonreachingthatpointtheystoppedtolookaroundthemandexamineaprospectwhichformedthedistanceoftheirviewfromthecottage,fromaspotwhichtheyhadneverhappenedtoreachinanyoftheirwalksbefore.
Amongsttheobjectsinthescene,theysoondiscoveredananimatedone;itwasamanonhorsebackridingtowardsthem.Inafewminutestheycoulddistinguishhimtobeagentleman;andinamomentafterwardsMariannerapturouslyexclaimed,"Itishe-itisindeed;-Iknowitis!
"andwashasteningtomeethim,whenElinorcriedout,"Indeed,Marianne,Ithinkyouaremistaken.ItisnotWilloughby.Thepersonisnottallenoughforhim,andhasnothisair.""Hehas,hehas,"criedMarianne,"Iamsurehehas.Hisair,hiscoat,hishorse.Iknewhowsoonhewouldcome."Shewalkedeagerlyonasshespoke;andElinor,toscreenMariannefromparticularity,asshefeltalmostcertainofitsnotbeingWilloughby,quickenedherpaceandkeptupwithher.Theyweresoonwithinthirtyyardsofthegentleman.Mariannelookedagain;herheartsunkwithinher;andabruptlyturninground,shewashurryingback,whenthevoicesofbothhersisterswereraisedtodetainher;athird,almostaswellknownasWilloughby's,joinedtheminbegginghertostop,andsheturnedroundwithsurprisetoseeandwelcomeEdwardFerrars.
HewastheonlypersonintheworldwhocouldatthatmomentbeforgivenfornotbeingWilloughby;theonlyonewhocouldhavegainedasmilefromher;butshedispersedhertearstosmileonhim,andinhersister'shappinessforgotforatimeherowndisappointment.
Hedismounted,andgivinghishorsetohisservant,walkedbackwiththemtoBarton,whitherhewaspurposelycomingtovisitthem.Hewaswelcomedbythemallwithgreatcordiality,butespeciallybyMarianne,whoshowedmorewarmthofregardinherreceptionofhimthanevenElinorherself.ToMarianne,indeed,themeetingbetweenEdwardandhersisterwasbutacontinuationofthatunaccountablecoldnesswhichshehadoftenobservedatNorlandintheirmutualbehaviour.OnEdward'ssidemoreparticularly,therewasadeficiencyofallthataloveroughttolookandsayonsuchanoccasion.Hewasconfused,seemedscarcelysensibleofpleasureinseeingthem,lookedneitherrapturousnorgay,saidlittlebutwhatwasforcedfromhimbyquestions,anddistinguishedElinorbynomarkofaffection.Mariannesawandlistenedwithincreasingsurprise.ShebeganalmosttofeeladislikeofEdward;anditended,aseveryfeelingmustendwithher,bycarryingbackherthoughtstoWilloughby,whosemannersformedacontrastsufficientlystrikingtothoseofhisbrotherelect.
Afterashortsilencewhichsucceededthefirstsurpriseandenquiriesofmeeting,MarianneaskedEdwardifhecamedirectlyfromLondon.No,hehadbeeninDevonshireafortnight."Afortnight!
"sherepeated,surprisedathisbeingsolonginthesamecountywithElinorwithoutseeingherbefore.Helookedratherdistressedasheadded,thathehadbeenstayingwithsomefriendsnearPlymouth."HaveyoubeenlatelyinSussex?
"saidElinor."IwasatNorlandaboutamonthago.""Andhowdoesdear,dearNorlandlook?
"criedMarianne."Dear,dearNorland,"saidElinor,"probablylooksmuchasitalwaysdoesatthistimeoftheyear.Thewoodsandwalksthicklycoveredwithdeadleaves.""Oh,"criedMarianne,"withwhattransportingsensationhaveIformerlyseenthemfall!
HowhaveIdelighted,asIwalked,toseethemdriveninshowersaboutmebythewind!
Whatfeelingshavethey,theseason,theairaltogetherinspired!
Nowthereisnoonetoregardthem.Theyareseenonlyasanuisance,swepthastilyoff,anddrivenasmuchaspossiblefromthesight.""Itisnoteveryone,"saidElinor,"whohasyourpassionfordeadleaves.""No;myfeelingsarenotoftenshared,notoftenunderstood.Butsometimestheyare."Asshesaidthis,shesunkintoareverieforafewmoments;butrousingherselfagain,"Now,Edward,"saidshe,callinghisattentiontotheprospect,"hereisBartonValley.Lookupit,andbetranquilifyoucan.Lookatthosehills.Didyoueverseetheirequals?
TotheleftisBartonPark,amongstthosewoodsandplantations.Youmayseetheendofthehouse.Andthere,beneaththatfarthesthi
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