世界上最美丽英文44Word格式文档下载.docx
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世界上最美丽英文44Word格式文档下载.docx
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Withouthiminmylife,nothingmatterstomeanymore.Ifeelbrokenandempty:
ashellofmypreviousself.It'
sbeenweeksandI'
mstillcryingaboutthis..."
Isthisyou?
Youfeelthisway,yetyouknowthatthetwoofyoucannolongerbetogether....itjustdidn'
twork(toomanyfights,toomuchdistance,someotherproblem).Whoeversaid,"
It'
sbettertohavelovedandlostthannevertohaveloved"
hasneverexperiencedthisfeelingofloss.WhatI'
mtalkingaboutisabrokenheart.
I'
vehadmyownheartbroken,too,soIhaveconsiderableempathyforyoursituation.Theadvice"
takeitonedayatatime"
oftenseemscliché
.Wethinkwe'
vecrossedthehurdleandareoutofthevalleyoftearsorsadnesswhensuddenlywehearasong,seeamovie,orhavesomeotheractionoreventtriggerourmemoryofourpastlove.Howdoesitevergeteasier?
HereiswhatI'
velearnedaboutovercomingabrokenheart:
StepOne:
Actproactively,ratherthanreactively.Allowourselvestimetoprocess,grieve,orwhateverelseweneedtofeelfromthesituation.Goaheadandbeangryifwehaveto.Donotprojectouranger,guilt,orsadnessontoourex,thatwillonlycreatedifficultfeelingsforbothofus.ButDOallowourselvestofeelthefeelings.Andbeproactiveintheprocess.Howcanwechangeourfeelingsfromthoseofreactiontoproactivelymakingourlifebetter?
Thefeelingseventuallydopass.Iwon'
ttellyouhowlongitwilltake,becauseforsomeittakesdays,forothersweeks,forothersyears.However,wecanacceleratetheprocessbyowningouractionsandbecomingproactive,ratherthanreactive.
LeavejudgmenttoGodornature.Thevictimmaystandinthebestpositiontocondemntheoffender;
however,byshowingmercythevictimhasshowntruelove.Whenwehaveahealedheart,ourheartisnolongerconcernedwithhowwewerehurt;
rather,ourheartisconcernedwithhowtolove.Wemustforgivethepastandmoveontolovingourselfandothersagain.
Wemustcreateaplan.Howwillwesetboundarieswithourformerpartner?
Howwillwedealwithangerwhenwefeelit?
Howwillwedealwithsadness?
Howcanwelearnthemost,thengrowfromthisexperience?
Whenwewriteourplandown,wegiveitpower.Then,whenthechallengescomeup(andtheyalwaysdo)wecanconsultourplan,thentaketheactionwe'
vealreadydeterminedwillmakeusmosthealthyandhappy,ratherthanjustreactinganyotherwaypossible.
Asweforgive,wewillbeforgiven.Howcanweplantoforgivewithoutdiggingupthepast?
Asweshowmercy,mercywillbeshowntous.Howcanweshowmercytoothers?
Aswehavefun,withjoy,kindness,andhappiness,wewillreapmorejoy,kindness,andhappiness.Howcanweplantobegincreatingthisinourlifeagain?
AsweliveaccordingtoourPROACTIVEplan,wecanbeginmakingadifferenceagaininahealthyandhappyway.
StepTwo:
Reframetherelationshipinourmind.Ratherthanseeingtherelationshipas"
theonlyone"
wherewecouldhavereceivedlove,orcouldhaveknownsomuchabouteachother,orfeltthelovingwassodarngoodandnootherwillcompare,itisvitalthatweseetherelationshipindifferentlight.No,theyweren'
t"
theone"
--iftheywere,itwouldhaveworkedoutfarbetterthanitdid.Whattherelationshipwas,infact,wasalearningexperience.Whatdidwelearn?
Howcanweimproveourlivesasaresultoftheexperience?
WhatcanItakeintothenextrelationshipthatwillbeHEALTHY?
Therearemanyotherpeoplewhowecanconnectwith,manyotherswhowillloveusright,andmanywhomighttreatusFARbetterthanweeverdreamed,andthisrelationshipendingwassimplyanecessityinordertobringtheNEWandexcitingonein!
StepThree:
Rebuildmylife.Whatmakesmesmile?
Whatmakesmewanttogetupinthemorning?
WhatamItrulypassionateabout?
ThesearethethingsIneedtodoagaininordertostartrebuildingmylifeandbecominghappyandinlovewithMEagain!
Ithasbeensaid,inordertoloveanother,wemustfirstloveourself.Thisisverytrue.Wemustloveourself,andtheonlywaytodothatistostartlivingouraspirations.
Itisimportantinthissteptonotimmediatelyreplaceloveforourselfwithloveforanother.Ifweimmediatelydatesomeonenew,weruntheriskofrelivingthemistakesalloveragainandnotlearning,ratherthanfacingourfearsandchallengesandgrowingstrongerbecauseofthem.Myheartiswithyouinthiseffortasitisourbiggestchallengeinhealingourbrokenheart:
facingourownshadowside.Often,whathurtusthemostfromourpartnerandthebreakupinvolvesfacingthatpartofourselveswhichishardesttolookat.Inordertoloveourbrightandhappysidewemustalsoloveourshadowside.Acceptanceisakeytooursuccesswithlovingourcompleteself.
StepFour:
Recognizethepeoplearoundusfortheblessingstheyare.Ratherthanlookforhowpeopleletusdown,lookathowpeopleinspireus.Lookforthegoodinothers.Thiswillhelpustoreachoutandloveagain.Thisisalsoakeytobecominghappyagain.
IrememberreadingastorybyDaleCarnegieaboutawomanwhowasdepressed.Shehadn'
tbeenseenatchurchforawhile,andpeoplethoughtsomethingwaswrong.ThenonedayavisitorpointedouttoherthatshehadthisincrediblegiftofraisingAfricanViolets.Whynotusethisgiftandgivevioletsawaytomakepeople'
slivesmorehappy?
That'
sexactlywhatshedid.Year'
slater,scoresofpeopleshowedupatherfuneral,asshebecameknownastheAfricanVioletQueen!
Howcanyoubecomequeenorkingofalittlepartofmakingtheworldabrighterplace?
WeALLhaveuniquegiftsandtalents,andeventhesmallestofthesecanmakeadifference.
StepFive:
Findwaystolaugh,learn,love,andlive.Ifwearen'
tlookingup,we'
relookingoutordown.Thismakesusfeeldown.Trylookingup--italwayselevatesmymood.Also,trysmilingasmuchaspossible.Evenifitfeelsfake,atfirst,tosmileforanyole'
reasonatall,iteventuallywillreplaceourgloomwithhappinessbecausehappypeopleattractotherhappypeople(likeattractslike).Ratherthanbecomingamemberofthe"
ain'
titawful"
club,wecangetbacktobeingthe"
isn'
tlifegrand"
club.It'
smuchmorefun,really.Wecanpromoteourselfesteembylearninganewhobbyorinterest,likedancingoraforeignlanguage.Thenwecantakeatriptoanewcountrytoputournewinterestintoaction.Knowledge,withoutaction,isfairlymeaningless.Knowledge,withaction,ispowerful.
StepSix:
Reachout.Thelastkeytohealingabrokenheartistoreachouttoothers.Byreachingout,wecandoafavor.Callanoldfriend.Or,perhaps,simplyjustdosomethingkindforastranger.OneofthewaysIreachedoutwastomaketripstovisiteachofmyfamilyseveraltimesinsixmonths.Ididthistoleteachotherthemknowhowimportanttheyweretome.Asaresult,Ifeelacloserbondwithmyfamilyagain.Ifthepeopledonothelpyoufeelbetter,thenavoidthem.Butatsomepoint,ifwedonotreachoutweruntheriskofbecomingrecluse.Andreclusionisnotarecipeforhappiness.
StepSeven:
Ourvaluedoesnotcomefromwhowearewith.Ourvaluecomesfromwhoweare.
Ratherthanworryaboutbeinginarelationship,trycreatingMANYnewrelationships,notjustlovers,butfriendseverywherewego.Whydowewanttobecomefriendswithsomeone?
BecauseweRELATEtothemthroughcommoninterests,becausethey'
renicetous,becausetheyacceptusforwhoweare,andperhapsshowwayswearespecialtothem.
Ourrelationshipwithasignificantotherorlifepartnerdoesnotdetermineourhappiness.Ourownthoughtsdetermineourhappiness.So,whynotchoosethinkingthatwillsupportourhighestcelebrationofourself?
Wecantreatourselvestoanightout.Wecanmakeitapointthatevenwhenwearealonewewillreachoutandfindwaystoconnectwithotherpeople.Notfromtheperspectiveofwhattheycandoforus,butratherwhatcanwedoforthem.Indoingso,thelawofabundantreturnswillautomaticallykick-in.Wereallydon'
thavetoworryaboutpayback.Justgiveoutgood,relatetoothersbyaskingthemquestionsabouttheirlife,theirinterests,complimenttheirtalents,andwatchhowtheylightupwithasmile.
Wecanmakeadifference.Whynotstartbybecomingproactive,makingaplanforourhappiness,andreachingouttoloveandliveagain?
Thetimeisnow!
Theworldisfullofopportunityforyoutoexpressyourselfexactlythewayyouwantto.Enjoyandmakethemostofyouruniquegiftoflife,letpeopleknowyoubelieveinlove,andtakethetimetoheal.Eventually,youwillmeetsomeonewhoyouwillloveandmorethanlikelyyouwilllookbackatthistimeaswhenyoulaidthefoundationsofafutureyoutrulydeserve.Bestofsuccesstoyouinhealingyourheartandlovingagain!
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