7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本_三顾茅庐.doc
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7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本_三顾茅庐.doc
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Threevisitstothecottage
Aside:
Threevisitstothecottage(中文名三顾茅庐)isastoryfromoneoftheFour
GreatclassicalChinesenovels——theThreeKindoms.ZhuGeliangisoneofthemaincharactersintheoriginal.Also,heisanoutstandingmilitarist,politicianandthesymbolofthewisdominChinesehistory.Anothermainactors——Liubei,whovisitedZhuGeliang'sthatchedcottagethreetimesandwantedtoinvitehimtobehismilitaryadviser.Finally,ZhuGeliangwasmovedbyLiubei'sincerity,helpedthethreebrothers——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfeitoestablishtheShuKindom.Hedevotedhiswholelifetothecauseanddiedinharness.
Ourscriptisrevisedfromthisstory.Inthisplay,weaddmanymodernandfunnyelements.Forexample,therearesomespokenlinesandactionswhichwerecopiedfromsomeclassicalmovieslikeInfernalAffairs(中文名无间道),MyOwnSWordsman(中文名武林外传),TheFlirtingScholar(中文名唐伯虎点秋香)werecombinedinourplay.Also,weaddedsomeinterestingpicturesandaudiotoourslide.
Maybetherearesomemistakesinourdialogue.Butthisplayistheresultofpainstakingeffortsofourgroup.Sowepresentourscripttoyouandwishyouwilllikeit.
Threevisitstothecottage
Aside:
Aftertheirswearingbrotherhoodtoheavenandearthinapeachgarden,the
threepersons——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfei-hadtobejanitorsinCaocao'scorporationtomakealivingfortheycouldnotfindjobs.MeanwhilethelegendaryandmysteriouscharacterZhuGeliangwhohadbeenforcedtoattendCET-6testbyhiswifewasreviewingexaminationcontents.
SCENE1:
Liubei'shome
Actors:
LiubeiGuanyuZhangfei
Guanyu:
Brother!
Wethreehavebeenhungryfordaysandwhenwillthistragiclifeend?
It'ssoterrible!
Liubei:
Yu,it'simpossiblethatIdon'tfeelpainful,isn'tit?
ButastheproverbsaysitishardtositinRomeandstriveagainstthePope.NowwecomedowntoCaocao'scorporationasgatekeeper,anyhowwecanfillourstomachsbetweenwhiles.It'sveryhardtogetworknow.Nodiplomasandnojoboffers,whatareyoudreamingabout?
Zhangfei:
Oh,Brother!
ZhuGeliang'swifeborrowedus500yuantocopewithhishusband’sCET-6feeslastmonth,itseemsthatit'stimeforustobedebtcollectorsnow.
Guanyu:
Yeah,Brother!
Orwe'llbeaspooraschurchmouse
Liubei:
Alas!
HowdidIforgetthis?
Let'sgo!
Go~~go~!
Hurryup!
Followmeandgotothemountainfordunning!
Aside:
AndthenthethreebrothersclimbthemountaintofindZhuGeliang.
SCENE2:
ZhuGeliang’shouse
Actors:
ZhuGeliangZhu’sWife
ZhuGeliang:
Goodmorning!
IamthegeniusZhuGeliang.ButIfeelsomoroserecently.BecausemywifeforcedmetopasstheCET-6.What’sCET-6?
Doyouknow?
You?
(Asktheaudience)I’veneverheartaboutthat.Andsheobligedmetoreadsoheavybooksanddosomanytexts.It’sridiculous.Mymajorismilitaryadvice,notEnglish.WhyshouldIreadthis?
Wife:
Darling!
ZhuGeliang:
Mywifeiscoming,sheissolong-windedthatIcanneverbearher.
Wife:
Mydear,howaboutyourstudy?
ZhuGeliang:
Thesebooksmakemewanttodoze.I’mdizzy.
Wife:
Darling!
Now,competitionissoserious.Ifyoucan’tpasscet6togetyourmaster’sdegree,itisdifficulttofindajob.Ihavestayedhereforhalfofalifetime.ButnevervisitabiggerplacelikeTianjin.(cry)
ZhuGeliang:
Don’tworry,thesebooksaretooeasyforyourhusbandanddon’tneedtolearn.
Wife:
Areyousure?
letmehaveatesttoyou.Listen,readandsee!
ZhuGeliang:
Apieceofcake!
Wife:
Listen,canyouspellapple?
Desk?
ZhuGeliang:
SorryIcan’t.
Wife:
Youcan’t?
Oh,howunfortunateIam!
(crying)I'mwrong,I'mreallywrong,I'mwrongfromthebeginning.Ishouldn'tmarryhere.IfIdidn’tmarryhere,I'llneverinthisheartrendingplacenow,
ZhuGeliang:
Don’tcry,don’tcry,stop!
I‘mgoingtostudyhardatonce.
Wife(laugh):
That'sthespirit!
Doyouknow?
WeareintheredforyourCet6.Ievenborrowedmoneyfromthegatekeeper.WhatcanIdowhentheydunfordebts.
ZhuGeliang:
AreyoupointingtothatgatekeeperLiubei?
Wife:
Oh!
Yes!
Comeonquickly!
Boy!
Keeper:
Whatisthematter?
Madam?
Wife:
Listencarefully!
Myhusbandistoobusydoinghishomeworktowelcomeanypeople,soyouwilltellthepeoplewhocallsonhimthatbosshaswenttostudyinEngland.
Aside:
Whileitisgoingon,liubeiGuanyuZhangfeihavecametothegateofZhuGeliang’shouse.
SCENE3OutsideZhuGeliang’shouse
Actors:
LiubeiGuanyuZhangfeiKeeper
Zhangfei:
Letmeknockthedoor!
Open!
Open!
!
!
Keeper:
(Checkfromthepeephole)Arethesemenaskingforthedebt?
(Openthedoor)
Liubei:
Thisisliubei!
WearecallingonZhuGeliangandhiswife.
Keeper:
Zhusaidheisnotin.
Liubei:
En?
?
?
?
Keeper:
Oh!
No!
...Imean…ImeanmybossisstudyingEnglishinEnglandfortheexamofCET-6,andhemaynotbecomebackthismonth.
Liubei:
OK!
Wewillwaitforhimhere!
Guanyu:
Nobodyknowsthatwhenhewillbecomeback,so,let’sgohome!
Aside:
Thethreemenwentawaywithdisappointed.Afteramonth,thedeeplyautumncame!
Theycamehereatthesecondtime.Unfortunately,theydidn’tseeZhugeliangaswell.Twomonthpassed,thecoldwinteriscoming!
Itisheavysnowandverycoldoutsides.ZhuGeliangknowsthereasonthatwhytheycomeherethreetimes,andordersthekeepertoletthemcomeinwhileshiswifeisout.
SCENE4OutsideZhuGeliang’shouse
Actors:
LiubeiGuanyuZhangfeiKeeper
Zhangfei:
Pleasetellmeintimewhenyouwouldseehimnexttime,letmebindhimupforyou.Itreallyshouldnottroubleyoutocomeheretimeandtimeagain.
Liubei:
Thesedays,theborroweristhegod!
Let’sgothereagainandshowourthewarmesthearttomovethem.(Knockthedoor)
Keeper:
Mybossisathometoday,butheisreadingbooksaboutCET-6.Pleasewaitforamoment!
Zhangfei:
XiaoZhu!
Comeout!
Brothers,helpmetotakecareofmyseventhuncleandhisthirdniece.Getout,orIwillburnyourhousedown!
Guanyu:
Sunflowerpress!
AI.Litterbrother,bigbrotherhassaidseveraltimes,Weareintellectuals,understand?
Don'tbesorude,weareherefordebt,notforhislife.Ifyouwillkillhim,whereisourmoney?
Liubei:
Thesubmortagagecrisisissoserious,don’tyouknowthatsimplereason?
Ifyouknow,pleasebatyoureyes!
Zhangfei(Bateyes)
Guanyu:
sunflowerpress!
!
!
!
!
Zhangfei:
WheredidyougetthisKongFu?
Guanyu:
Hehe!
IgetitfromaTVprogramcalled“MyOwnSWordsman”,whichissopopularwithlotsofpeopleinChina!
Zhangfei:
Whynotsayitearlier?
WethreebrothercouldrunacompanyofChineseKongFuifwehadknowthatbefore!
Guanyu:
Oh!
!
Thatisagoodidea!
!
!
!
Keeper:
Don’tinterrupt!
!
!
!
Bossisreading!
!
!
Liubei:
Keepquite!
!
!
Aside:
atthistime,zhugeliangisexciting,buthiswifecomebacksoon.
SCENE5:
ZhuGeliang’sHome
Actors:
ZhuGeliangwifeliubeiZhangfeiGuanyu
ZhuGeliang:
Thankgoodness,here'sLiubeiatlast.Hahaha………
Wife:
Wof!
Darling!
Hemaycomeheretoaskmetorepayhismoney.Wecan’tlethimin.
ZhuGeliang:
Mydarling,pleasedon’tworry.Icanmakeliubeigobackwithnothingbymyslivertongue
Liubei:
Mr.ZhuGeliang.Ihavehuntedyouforalongtime!
Zhu:
Oh!
YouareLiubei.WhatcanIdoforyou?
Liu:
mybrother,youhaveborrowedme$500,whenyourepayitforme?
Ihavestarvedforseveraldays.
ZhuGeliang:
Ioweyou$500?
whocantestify?
Pleasegivemeachance,Iwanttobeanhonestman.
Liubei:
HowcanIgiveyouachance?
Speakittothejudge.
Zhu:
Pleaselook,althoughhavingambition,youarejustaguarder.Wecanenlargeourpowerfromthisbase,andthenattackCaocao.AtlastIbelievethatwecanreignthewholecountry.
Liubei:
I’msosurprised!
Idon’tknowyouaresoideal.
ZhuGeliang:
IfIgiveyouamap,couldInotrepayyourmoney?
Liubei:
En…….youknowsomuchaboutaffairs,areyouwillingtocreateanewcountrytogetherwithus?
ZhuGeliang:
ButIcan’thelpyou,Ihaveaccustomthelifeatpresent.
Liubei:
Ifyoudon’thelpme,thecitizenwillliveaharderlife,pleasedon’trefuse.
ZhuGeliang:
En……sorry,Ican’t.BecausemywifeforcesmetopasstheCET-6recently.Ifyoucanhelpmetoresolvetheproblem,Iwillhelpyou.
Liu:
En…..
Zhangfei:
(Pull)Brother,comehere.Everythingisfakenowsuchasthemilk.Whycan’twefindsomebodyhelpusdothetestorbuyakey?
Guanyu:
Yes!
WecanoverdraftoursalaryfromCaocaotobuythekeyatfirst.
SCENE6:
ZhuGeliang’sHome
Actors:
WifeKeeper
Aside:
Becausethesalaryhasbeengiventozhugeliangtobuythekey,LiubeiGuanyuZhangfeihavebeenstarvingforonemonth.
Keeper:
(Happy)Sir,youarereallyagod.CET6hasgot600scores.Bereallytostartletheuniverseandmovethegods.
Wife:
Whathappened?
600scores?
Oh!
Donotshoulderyourseveralyearsstudyingatacoldwindow;Donotshouldermynightholdingcandleaccompanyingyou.AfteryourMastergraduates,happylifewillapproach.Cars,house,money!
SCENE7:
OutsideZhuGeliang’shouse
Aside:
Afterreceivingthemasterdegree,ZhuGeliangwillgotoworkwithLiubeitoestablishanewKingdom.Sothecouplesapart.
Actors:
ZhuGeliangWifeLiubeiGuanyuZhangfei
Wife:
Honey!
ZhuGeliang:
Darling!
Wife:
Excellentmanhavealong-rangeambition.Youshouldputcauseaboveeverythingelse,aresurenottomissme.
ZhuGeliang:
Iwillhavealongjourney.Pleasetakecareofyourself.(Turnaround)Don’tworried,nevermissyou!
!
(Run)
ZhuGeliang:
(ToLiubei)YourMajesty,Iwillneverforgetyourfavour.Ishouldbeloyalanddevotedtothelast.
LiubeiGuanyuZhangfei:
Let'go!
!
!
!
!
Aside:
Thethreemengodowntothehill.Thatistheendofthewho
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