江苏高考英语读写类作文讲评【精选】.ppt
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江苏高考英语读写类作文讲评【精选】.ppt
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读写类书面表达讲评,Learningaims:
Tolearnhowtosumupthemainideaofashortpassage;Tolearnhowtopolishupyourownwritings;Tocorrectsomemistakesfromyourownwritings.,读写任务型写作分为两部分:
第一部分要求用约30个词概括所给短文的要点,文体主要以议论文,记叙文或说明文为主。
第二部分以约120个词就短文某一主题谈论自己的经历并发表看法。
此项旨在着重考查学生学习英语的综合能力,特别是阅读写作以及思维的能力。
第一部分要求学生能读懂文章,在读懂的基础上概括文章要点,所以阅读能力和概括能力要求较高。
写作要求分析,TechniqueGuides,概括叙事性(narrative)文章主要内容一般应包括四个方面的内容:
1.什么人?
(Who)2.发生什么事情?
(Whathappened)3.目的如何/原因是什么?
(Why)4.结果如何/什么启示或教训?
(Consequence/Inspiration/Lesson),Youmaybeginlikethese:
Thepassage/storyismainlyabout(talksabout)+astory/phenomenonwhere/that+从句2.Thewritertells/shows/statesusthat3.Asisshowninthepassage,4.Whatthepassagetells/shows/statesusisthat,故事性阅读材料,应该用最简练的语言来说明故事讲述了什么,还可以讲述该故事给你的启示(inspiration)或其中的一个道理(principle)。
Atleast36peoplediedinafatalstampededuringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghaionJanuary1st,2015.ThetragedyhappenedatacrowdedsquareinShanghaisgleamingBundareaataround11:
35p.m.Mostoftheinjuredwereyoungpeopleintheirtwenties,amajorityofthemwomen.Therewerealsocollegestudentsandchildren.Theyweresenttoseveralhospitalsfortreatment,includingChangzhengHospital,theShanghaiNo.1PeoplesHospital,RuijinHospitalandHuangpuDistrictCentralHospital.Lackofawarenessoversafetyriskbehindpublicgatheringsandloosecontrolatthescenecontributedtothetragedy.Thedisorderatthescenealsoexposedthedeficiencyinemergencyexerciseandsafetyeducation.Aprofoundlessonshouldbelearnedfromtheincident.Forthoseareaswithhighsafetyrisks,theauthoritiesshouldhavespecialemergencyresponseplansandmakesufficientanalysisandassessment,includingthearrangementofpolice,volunteersandsupportingmeasures.,参考1Atleast36peoplediedinafatalstampedestmpidduringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghaionJanuary1st,2015,causedbylackofawarenessoversafetyriskandloosecontrolatthescene.(35)(马苏云),参考2Atragedyinwhichatleast36peoplediedduringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghairaisedpeoplesawarenessofthesecurityofpublicplaces.Andtheauthoranalyzedthecausesofthetragedy.(33字)(杨天一),参考3WhatthepassageshowsusisastampedewhichhappenedinShanghaisBundareaseveraldaysago,includingthereasonswhyithappenedandthemeasuresauthoritiesshouldtake.(29字)(suggestedanswer),Transitionalsentencesconnectingyourexperience,Actually,inreallife,everyonecanhaveanexperienceofHavingreadthepassage,IthinkofAfterreadingthepassage,Iamlostinthought,whichremindsmeofWhatatouchingstory,whichremindsmeof,Howtopolishupyourwriting,acquire/attain/obtain,accomplish/complete,appreciate/befondof/prefer,concern,takeintoconsideration/account,makeuseof/takeadvantageof,beofvital/greatimportance,Advancedexpressions,Exercise1,sadShefeltlonelyandd_.Shewasreallyu_aboutthewayherfathertreatedher.happyShewasfeelingmorec_thanbefore.Sandywillbed_toseeyou.Imabsolutely_thatyouarecoming.badSmokinginpublicisa/an_habit.Theweatheris_.Ifoundthismannerisextremely_.Thefoodlooks_,butittastedOK.,greatHeisan_playertowatch.Herdancewasan_performance.Theirlastconcertwasreally_.Thefilmwasabsolutely_.Whata_idea.Thistravelwasa/an_experience.veryShelooks_beautifulthistonight.Conditionshaveimproved_overthepastfewyears.Raisingmoneyforthehomelesshasbeen_difficult.Self-confidenceis_vitaltosuccess.,depressed/upset/inlowspirits,cheerful/delighted/thrilled/pleased,awful/unpleasant/horrible,amazing/admirable/awesome/brilliant/excellent/enjoyable/fantastic,badly/dramatically/especially/rather/pretty/perfectly/awfully/amazingly,Advancedexpressions,Itsimportanttoobeythepublicregulations.Onlyifwedothat,canweliveinapeaceful,safeandbeautifulsociety.(姜佳怡)Somepeoplelikevisitingsomeplaceswhichhavelotsofvisitors.(蔡宜静)(prefer),Itsofvitalimportancetoobeythepublicregulations.Onlyifweperformthem,canweliveinapeaceful,safeandcomfortablesociety.,Somepeopleprefertovisitsomecrowdedinterestofplacesratherthanstayathomeforholiday.,Exercise2Trytopolishupthetwosentences,各种从句,非谓语,倒装句型,with复合结构,强调句型,省略句型,祈使句型,虚拟语气,Howtovarysentencestructures,优句鉴赏,Themoreactionswetakeforpublicrules,themoreadvantageswewillachievefromthesociety.(李晓爽)Inmyopinion,ifeveryonewhotookpartintheNewYearcelebrationshadbehavedwell,thetragedywouldnothavehappened.(季花磊)Soitisobviousthateveryonemusthavetheawarenessoversafetyrisk,especiallywheninpublicplaces.(杨天一),巧用副词不让句子裸奔,Obviously,mostofpeoplelacktheconsciousnessofpublicsafety.Surprisingly,thefatalstampedeledto36deathsanddozensofinjuries.Definitely,weshouldputoursecurityinthefirstplace.Personally,aseriesofpreventionmeasuresmustbetakentoguaranteepublicorder.,有没有副词效果确实不一样!
IbelievethatIsuggestthatIhopethatIsupportthat,I_believethatI_suggestthatI_hopethatI_supportthat,firmly,strongly,sincerely,fully/completely/entirely/absolutely,
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
Thereare36youngpeopledeadinShanghaisgleamingBundareawhentheycelebratedforthecomingnewyear.(19字)(张周杰)AfatalstampedewhichhappenedduringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghaimadeuspayattentiontosafetyriskbehindpublicgatherings.(21字)(王丽娟),学生习作改错,
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
学生习作改错,Peoplewillnotfollowpublicrulesbecauseoflackingofawarenessoversafetyriskbehindpublicgatheringsandloosecontrolatthescenecontributedtothetragedy.(黄陈侃)AsfarasIamconcerned,itseveryonesdutytoobeyandprotectthepublicgatherings.(李佳鑫),order,学生习作改错,Second,peopleshouldexposethedeficiencyinemergencyexerciseandsafetyeducation.(施佳佳)Inanemergencyexercise,peoplewillbeinapanic.Sowhenweareinanemergencyexercise,weoughttokeepcalm.(杜天琴),strengthen,
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
学生习作改错,DuringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghai,becauseyoungpeoplearelackofawarenessoversafetyriskbehindpublicgatheringsresultingafatalstampedehappened,where36peoplediedandmanypeopleinjured.(蔡佳丽)Ifitisnecessaryforhimtogototheplaces,whathealwaysdoesisthatfindinganopenplaceandstayingthere.(杨天一),of,were,(to)find,stay,学生习作改错,Wealwayswaitforamoment,thenwillwegoonit.(徐菁玲)Ithinknotonlyfollowedbytravelers,butalsotheauthoritiesshouldhavespecialemergencyresponseplansandmakesufficientanalysisandassessment.(陈嘉敏),Wewouldratherwaitinlinethanpushourwaythroughthecrowd.,Ithinknotonlyshouldtravelersfollowthepublicorder,butalsotheauthorities,
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
学生习作改错,ThereisafatalstampededuringNewYearcelebrationsinShanghai.Fromthisincident,weshouldimproveoursafetyawarenessandtheauthoritiesaresupposedtomakespecialemergencyresponseplans.,
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
学生习作改错,Toavoidsuchtragedyhappeningagain,theauthoritiesshouldhavespecialemergencyresponseplansandmakesufficientanalysisandassessment.(王丽娟),
(1)Summarizeincompleteidea
(2)Misuse/misunderstandoriginalpassage(3)Toomanymistakesmadeinsentencestructures(4)Expressopinionstooearly(5)Applythesuggestionsfromoriginalpassage(6)Toosimplesentences,本次作文中存在的问题:
学生习作改错,Inpublic,Ifollowthetrafficlights.Idontplayonthestreet.(黄嘉楠)Inmyopinion,ifwewanttoliveinasafeenvironment,wewillbecareful.(徐菁玲)Myfriendlikesshopping.Whenshegoesout,shealwaysfollowsocialrates.(姜佩文),wecantbetoocareful.,order,Inpublicplaces,Othermistakes,Spellingmistakes:
mess写成massrecognition写成recognizationcalm写成clammisusepersonalpronouns:
protectusfrom写成protectourifwearefacedwith写成ifourarefacedwithlookaroundher写成lookaroundsheConfusepartofspeech:
bad写成badlykind写成kindnesssafety写成safeUseasentenceorphraserepeatedly:
有同学把observepublicrulesandregulations先后使用了四遍。
Usuallythebeginningofasummaryis:
1.Thepassagemainlydiscussesthat2.Wecanknowfromthepassagethat3.Asfarastheauthorisconcerned,4.Inthepassage,theauthormainlystressedthat,议论性(argumentative)的阅读短文,则要尽可能客观简要地转述阅读材料的观点,而非描述细节。
说明性(illustrative)短文,你就必须用概括的文字来说明某种现象。
Youmaybeginlikethese:
1.Itisstatedinthearticlethat2.Accordingtothepassage,wecanknowthat3.Inthepassage,theauthorstatesthat4.Thepassagepointsoutthat,Homework,背诵概括主题的解题技巧;完成讲义上概括mainidea专练;订正自己的作文,并上交。
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