The Ransom of Mack.docx
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The Ransom of Mack.docx
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TheRansomofMack
TheRansomofMack
MeandoldMackLonsbury,wegotoutofthatLittleHide-and-Seekgoldmineaffairwithabout$40,000apiece.Isay"old"Mack;buthewasn'told.Forty-one,Ishouldsay;buthealwaysseemedold.
"Andy,"hesaystome,"I'mtiredofhustling.Youandmehavebeenworkinghardtogetherforthreeyears.Sayweknockoffforawhile,andspendsomeofthisidlemoneywe'vecoaxedourway."
"Thepropositionhitsmejustright,"saysI."Let'sbenabobsforawhileandseehowitfeels.What'llwedo--takeintheNiagaraFalls,orbuckatfaro?
"
"Foragoodmanyyears,"saysMack,"I'vethoughtthatifIeverhadextravagantmoneyI'drentatwo-roomcabinsomewhere,hireaChinamantocook,andsitinmystockingfeetandreadBuckle'sHistoryofCivilisation."
"Thatsoundsself-indulgentandgratifyingwithoutvulgarostentation,"saysI;"andIdon'tseehowmoneycouldbebetterinvested.GivemeacuckooclockandaSepWinner'sSelf-InstructorfortheBanjo,andI'lljoinyou."
AweekafterwardsmeandMackhitsthissmalltownofPina,aboutthirtymilesoutfromDenver,andfindsaneleganttwo-roomhousethatjustsuitsus.Wedepositedhalf-a-peckofmoneyinthePinabankandshookhandswitheveryoneofthe340citizensinthetown.WebroughtalongtheChinamanandthecuckooclockandBuckleandtheInstructorwithusfromDenver;andtheymadethecabinseemlikehomeatonce.
Neverbelieveitwhentheytellyourichesdon'tbringhappiness.IfyoucouldhaveseenoldMacksittinginhisrocking-chairwithhisblue-yarnsockfeetupinthewindowandabsorbinginthatBucklestuffthroughhisspecsyou'dhaveseenapictureofcontentthatwouldhavemadeRockefellerjealous.AndIwaslearningtopickout"OldZipCoon"onthebanjo,andthecuckoowasontimewithhisremarks,andAhSingwasmessinguptheatmospherewiththehandsomestsmellofhamandeggsthateverlaidthehoneysuckleintheshade.WhenitgottoodarktomakeoutBuckle'snonsenseandthenotesintheInstructor,meandMackwouldlightourpipesandtalkaboutscienceandpearldivingandsciaticaandEgyptandspellingandfishandtrade-windsandleatherandgratitudeandeagles,andalotofsubjectsthatwe'dneverhadtimetoexplainoursentimentsaboutbefore.
OneeveningMackspokeupandaskedmeifIwasmuchapprisedinthehabitsandpoliciesofwomenfolks.
"Why,yes,"saysI,inatoneofvoice;"Iknow'emfromAlfredtoOmaha.Thefemininenatureandsimilitude,"saysI,"isasplaintomysightastheRockyMountainsistoablue-eyedburro.I'montoalltheirlittleside-stepsandpunctualdiscrepancies."
"Itellyou,Andy,"saysMack,withakindofsigh,"Ineverhadtheleastamountofintersectionwiththeirpredispositions.MaybeImighthavehadapronenessinrespecttotheirvicinity,butInevertookthetime.ImademyownlivingsinceIwasfourteen;andIneverseemedtogetmyratiocinationsequippedwiththesentimentsusuallydepictedtowardthesect.IsometimeswishIhad,"saysoldMack.
"They'reanadversestudy,"saysI,"andadaptedtopointsofview.Althoughtheyvaryinrationale,Ihavefound'emquiteoftenobviouslydifferingfromeachotherindivergencesofcontrast."
"Itseemstome,"goesonMack,"thatamanhadbettertake'eminandsecurehisinspirationsofthesectwhenhe'syoungandsopreordained.Iletmychancegoby;andIguessI'mtoooldnowtogohoppingintothecurriculum."
"Oh,Idon'tknow,"Itellshim."Maybeyoubettercredityourselfwithabarrelofmoneyandalotofemancipationfromaquantityofuncontent.Still,Idon'tregretmyknowledgeof'em,"Isays."Ittakesamanwhounderstandsthesymptomsandby-playsofwomen-folkstotakecareofhimselfinthisworld."
WestayedoninPinabecausewelikedtheplace.Somefolksmightenjoytheirmoneywithnoiseandraptureandlocomotion;butmeandMackwehadhadplentyofturmoilsandhoteltowels.Thepeoplewerefriendly;AhSinggottheswingofthegrubweliked;MackandBucklewereasthickastwobody-snatchers,andIwashittingoutacordialresemblanceto"BuffaloGals,Can'tYouComeOutTo-night,"onthebanjo.
OnedayIgotatelegramfromSpeight,themanthatwasworkingonamineIhadaninterestinoutinNewMexico.Ihadtogooutthere;andIwasgonetwomonths.IwasanxioustogetbacktoPinaandenjoylifeoncemore.
WhenIstruckthecabinInearlyfainted.Mackwasstandinginthedoor;andifangelseverwept,Isawnoreasonwhytheyshouldbesmilingthen.
Thatmanwasaspectacle.Yes;hewasworse;hewasaspyglass;hewasthegreattelescopeintheLickObservatory.Hehadonacoatandshinyshoesandawhitevestandahighsilkhat;andageraniumasbigasanorderofspinachwasspikedontohisfront.Andhewassmirkingandwarpinghisfacelikeaninfernalstorekeeperorakidwithcolic.
"Hello,Andy,"saysMack,outofhisface."Gladtoseeyouback.Thingshavehappenedsinceyouwentaway."
"Iknowit,"saysI,"andasacrilegioussightitis.Godnevermadeyouthatway,MackLonsbury.WhydoyouscarifyHisworkswiththispresumptuouskindofribaldry?
"
"Why,Andy,"sayshe,"they'veelectedmejusticeofthepeacesinceyouleft."
IlookedatMackclose.Hewasrestlessandinspired.Ajusticeofthepeaceoughttobedisconsolateandassuaged.
Justthenayoungwomanpassedonthesidewalk;andIsawMackkindofhalfsnickerandblush,andthenheraiseduphishatandsmiledandbowed,andshesmiledandbowed,andwentonby.
"Nohopeforyou,"saysI,"ifyou'vegottheMary-Janeinfirmityatyourage.Ithoughtitwasn'tgoingtotakeonyou.Andpatentleathershoes!
Allthisintwolittleshortmonths!
"
"I'mgoingtomarrytheyoungladywhojustpassedto-night,"saysMack,inakindofflutter.
"Iforgotsomethingatthepost-office,"saysI,andwalkedawayquick.
Iovertookthatyoungwomanahundredyardsaway.Iraisedmyhatandtoldhermyname.Shewasaboutnineteen;andyoungforherage.Sheblushed,andthenlookedatmecool,likeIwasthesnowscenefromthe"TwoOrphans."
"Iunderstandyouaretobemarriedto-night,"Isaid.
"Correct,"saysshe."Yougotanyobjections?
"
"Listen,sissy,"Ibegins.
"MynameisMissRebosaRedd,"sayssheinapainedway.
"Iknowit,"saysI."Now,Rebosa,I'moldenoughtohaveowedmoneytoyourfather.Andthatold,specious,dressed-up,garbled,sea-sickptomaineprancingaboutavidiouslylikeanirremediableturkeygobblerwithpatentleathershoesonismybestfriend.Whydidyougoandgethiminvestedinthismarriagebusiness?
"
"Why,hewastheonlychancetherewas,"answersMissRebosa.
"Nay,"saysI,givingasickeninglookofadmirationathercomplexionandstyleoffeatures;"withyourbeautyyoumightpickanykindofaman.Listen,Rebosa.OldMackain'tthemanyouwant.Hewastwenty-twowhenyouwasneeReed,asthepaperssay.Thisburstingintobloomwon'tlastwithhim.He'sallventilatedwitholdnessandrectitudeanddecay.OldMack'sdownwithacaseofIndiansummer.Heoverlookedhisbetwhenhewasyoung;andnowhe'ssuingNaturefortheinterestonthepromissorynotehetookfromCupidinsteadofthecash.Rebosa,areyoubentonhavingthismarriageoccur?
"
"Why,sureIam,"saysshe,oscillatingthepansiesonherhat,"andsoissomebodyelse,Ireckon."
"Whattimeisittotakeplace?
"Iasks.
"Atsixo'clock,"saysshe.
Imadeupmymindrightawaywhattodo.I'dsaveoldMackifIcould.Tohaveagood,seasoned,ineligiblemanlikethatturnchickenforagirlthathadn'tquiteatingslatepencilsandbuttoninginthebackwasmorethanIcouldlookonwitheasiness.
"Rebosa,"saysI,earnest,drawinguponmydisplayofknowledgeconcerningthefeminineintuitionsofreason--"ain'tthereayoungmaninPina--aniceyoungmanthatyouthinkaheapof?
"
"Yep,"saysRebosa,noddingherpansies--"Surethereis!
Whatdoyouthink!
Gracious!
"
"Doeshelikeyou?
"Iasks."Howdoeshestandinthematter?
"
"Crazy,"saysRebosa."Mahastowetdownthefrontstepstokeephimfromsittingthereallthetime.ButIguessthat'llbealloverafterto-night,"shewindsupwithasigh.
"Rebosa,"saysI,"youdon'treallyexperienceanyofthisadorationcalledloveforoldMack,doyou?
"
"Lord!
no,"saysthegirl,shakingherhead."Ithinkhe'sasdryasalavabed.Theidea!
"
"Whoisthisyoungmanthatyoulike,Rebosa?
"Iinquires.
"It'sEddieBayles,"saysshe."HeclerksinCrosby'sgrocery.Buthedon'tmakebutthirty-fiveamonth.EllaNoakeswaswildabouthimonce."
"OldMacktellsme,"Isays,"thathe'sgoingtomarryyouatsixo'clockthisevening."
"That'sthetime,"saysshe."It'stobeatourhouse."
"Rebosa,"saysI,"listentome.IfEddieBayleshadathousanddollarscash--athousanddollars,mindyou,wouldbuyhimastoreofhisown--ifyouandEddiehadthatmuchtoexcusematrimonyon,wouldyouconsenttomarryhimthiseveningatfiveo'clock?
"
Thegirllooksatmeaminute;andIcanseetheseinaudiblecogitationsgoingoninsideofher,aswomenwill.
"Athousanddollars?
"saysshe."OfcourseIwould."
"Comeon,"saysI."We'llgoandseeEddie."
WewentuptoCrosby'sstoreandcalledEddieoutside.Helookedtobeestimableandfreckled;andhehadchillsandfeverwhenImademyproposition.
"Atfiveo'clock?
"sayshe,"forathousanddollars?
Pleasedon'twakemeup!
Well,youaretherichuncleretiredfromthespicebusinessinIndia!
I'llbuyoutoldCrosbyandrunthestoremyself."
WewentinsideandgotoldmanCrosbyapartandexplainedit.Iwrotemycheckforathousanddollarsandhandedittohim.IfEddieandRebosamarriedeachotheratfivehewastoturnthemoneyovertothem.
AndthenIgave'emmyblessing,
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