loveisfallacy中英文对照.docx
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loveisfallacy中英文对照.docx
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loveisfallacy中英文对照
LoveisFallacy
byMaxShulman
Cool wasIandlogical。
Keen, calculating, perspicacious,acuteandastute—Iwasall ofthese.Mybrainwasaspowerfulasa dynamo, precise asa chemist’s scales,aspenetratingasa scalpel. And—think ofit!
—Ionly eighteen。
Itisnotoften that onesoyoung hassuchagiantintellect。
Take,forexample,PeteyBellows, myroommate at theuniversity。
Sameage,same background,but dumbas an ox。
A niceenoughfellow,youunderstand,butnothing upstairs.Emotionaltype。
Unstable. Impressionable。
Worst ofall,afaddist。
Fads, Isubmit,are theverynegationof reason。
To besweptupinevery newcrazethat comesalong, tosurrenderoneself toidiocyjustbecause everybody else is doing it—this,tome,istheacme ofmindlessness。
Not, however,toPetey.
OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbed with anexpressionofsuch distress onhisfacethatIimmediately diagnosedappendicitis。
“Don'tmove,” I said, “Don't takea laxative。
I’llgetadoctor.”
“Raccoon,” hemumbledthickly.
“Raccoon?
”Isaid, pausinginmyflight.
“Iwanta raccoon coat," hewailed.
Iperceivedthathistroublewasnotphysical,butmental。
“Whydo youwantaraccooncoat?
”
“Ishouldhave knownit,"hecried,poundinghis temples.“Ishouldhave knownthey'd come backwhenthe Charlestoncameback.LikeafoolIspentall my moneyfortextbooks,andnow Ican'tgetaraccooncoat。
”
“Canyou mean,” Isaidincredulously, “that peopleare actuallywearingraccooncoats again?
"
“AlltheBigMenonCampusare wearingthem。
Where've youbeen?
”
“Inthe library,"Isaid,namingaplacenotfrequentedbyBigMenonCampus.
Heleapedfromthebedand pacedtheroom。
“I’ve gotto have a raccooncoat,” he said passionately。
“I’vegotto!
"
“Petey,why?
Lookatit rationally. Raccooncoatsareunsanitary。
Theyshed.Theysmellbad。
Theyweigh toomuch.They’re unsightly.They—”
“You don’tunderstand,” he interruptedimpatiently. “It’sthethingtodo.Don'tyouwanttobeintheswim?
"
“No,”Isaid truthfully。
“Well,I do,”hedeclared。
“I’d give anythingforaraccoon coat。
Anything!
”
Mybrain,thatprecisioninstrument,slippedintohighgear。
“Anything?
”I asked,lookingat himnarrowly.
“Anything,”heaffirmedinringingtones。
Istrokedmychinthoughtfully. It sohappened that Iknewwhere to getmy handson araccooncoat。
Myfatherhadhadoneinhis undergraduate days;it lay nowin atrunkintheattic backhome.It alsohappenedthatPetey had somethingIwanted.He didn'thave itexactly,but atleast hehadfirstrightsonit。
Irefertohisgirl,PollyEspy.
IhadlongcovetedPollyEspy. Let meemphasize thatmydesirefor thisyoungwomanwasnotemotionalinnature。
Shewas,tobesure, agirl whoexcitedthe emotions,but Iwas notonetoletmyheartrulemy head。
IwantedPolly for ashrewdly calculated,entirely cerebral reason.
I wasafreshman in lawschool。
In afew years Iwouldbeout inpractice.Iwaswellawareoftheimportanceoftherightkindofwife in furtheringa lawyer's career。
Thesuccessfullawyers Ihadobserved were,almostwithoutexception,married tobeautiful,gracious,intelligentwomen. With oneomission, Pollyfittedthesespecifications perfectly。
Beautifulshewas。
Shewas notyet ofpin-upproportions,but Ifeltthattime would supplythelack.Shealreadyhadthemakings。
Graciousshewas。
BygraciousImeanfullofgraces。
Shehad anerectnessofcarriage, aneaseof bearing,a poise thatclearlyindicatedthe best ofbreeding。
Attablehermannerswereexquisite。
Ihadseenher attheKozyKampusKornereatingthespecialtyofthe house—a sandwichthat contained scrapsofpot roast,gravy, choppednuts, and adipperofsauerkraut—withouteven gettingher fingersmoist。
Intelligentshewasnot. Infact,sheveeredintheoppositedirection.ButI believed thatundermyguidance shewouldsmartenup. Atanyrate,itwasworth atry.Itis,afterall,easierto makea beautifuldumbgirl smartthan tomake anuglysmart girlbeautiful.
“Petey,"I said, “areyouinlovewithPollyEspy?
”
“I thinkshe’sa keenkid,"hereplied,“but Idon't know ifyou’dcallitlove。
Why?
”
“Doyou,”Iasked,“haveany kind offormalarrangementwith her?
I meanareyougoing steadyoranything likethat?
”
“No。
Weseeeachotherquiteabit, butweboth haveotherdates. Why?
”
“Isthere,"Iasked,“anyothermanfor whomshehasa particularfondness?
”
“NotthatIknowof. Why?
”
Inodded with satisfaction。
“Inotherwords, ifyou wereoutofthe picture,thefieldwouldbeopen. Isthatright?
”
“Iguessso. What are you getting at?
”
“Nothing,nothing,”Isaidinnocently,andtookmy suitcaseoutthecloset。
“Whereare yougoing?
”askedPetey.
“Home forweekend."Ithrew a fewthingsinto thebag.
“Listen,”hesaid,clutching myarmeagerly,“while you’rehome,youcouldn’tget some moneyfromyouroldman,could you,and lendit tomesoI canbuyaraccooncoat?
”
“I maydobetter than that,”Isaidwithamysterious winkandclosedmybag andleft。
“Look,”IsaidtoPeteywhenIgotbackMondaymorning。
Ithrewopenthesuitcase andrevealedthehuge,hairy,gamy objectthat myfather hadworninhis StutzBearcatin1925。
“HolyToledo!
” said Peteyreverently.Heplungedhishandsintotheraccooncoatand thenhisface。
“HolyToledo!
” herepeated fifteenor twenty times。
“Wouldyoulike it?
”Iasked。
“Oh yes!
"hecried, clutchingthe greasypelttohim.Thenacanny lookcameintohiseyes. “What do you wantforit?
"
“Yourgirl.”I said, mincingnowords.
“Polly?
” hesaidinahorrified whisper.“Youwant Polly?
”
“That’sright."
Heflung thecoatfromhim。
“Never,”hesaidstoutly.
Ishrugged.“Okay。
If youdon’t wanttobein the swim,I guessit’s yourbusiness。
”
I sat down inachair and pretendedtoreadabook, butoutofthe cornerof my eyeIkeptwatchingPetey. Hewasa torn man。
Firsthelookedatthecoat with theexpressionofa waifatabakerywindow。
Thenheturnedawayand sethisjawresolutely.Then helooked backatthecoat,witheven more longinginhisface。
Thenheturnedaway,butwithnotsomuchresolutionthistime。
Backandforthhis headswiveled,desire waxing,resolution waning。
Finallyhe didn't turnaway at all; hejuststoodandstaredwith madlust atthe coat.
“Itisn'tasthoughIwasinlovewithPolly,"he saidthickly。
“Orgoingsteadyoranythinglike that."
“That'sright,”Imurmured.
“What’sPollytome,ormetoPolly?
"
“Nota thing,”saidI。
“It’s justbeenacasual kick—just afew laughs,that’sall。
”
“Try onthe coat,”saidI。
Hecomplied。
The coatbunchedhighoverhis earsanddroppedallthewaydownto hisshoetops。
He lookedlikeamoundofdeadraccoons. “Fitsfine,”hesaidhappily。
Irosefrommychair。
“Isita deal?
”I asked,extendingmy hand.
Heswallowed.“It’s adeal,”he saidandshook my hand.
I had myfirst date withPollythefollowing evening.Thiswasinthenatureofasurvey;I wantedtofindoutjust howmuch work Ihadtodotogethermind uptothestandard Irequired。
Itookherfirst todinner。
“Gee,thatwas a delishdinner,"shesaidaswelefttherestaurant。
ThenItook herto a movie。
“Gee,thatwasamarvymovie,” shesaidaswe leftthe theatre。
AndthenI tookherhome. “Gee,I hadasensaysh time,”shesaid asshebade megood night。
Iwent backto myroomwith aheavy heart.Ihadgravelyunderestimatedthesizeofmytask.Thisgirl’slackofinformation wasterrifying.Norwould itbeenoughmerelytosupplyherwithinformation。
Firstshehadtobetaughttothink. Thisloomed asaprojectofnosmalldimensions,and atfirstIwastemptedtogiveherback toPetey。
Butthen Igottothinkingaboutherabundantphysicalcharmsandaboutthewaysheenteredaroomandthewayshehandledaknifeandfork,andI decided tomakean effort。
Iwent aboutit, asinallthings, systematically.Igavehera coursein logic.It happenedthat I,asalawstudent,wastakingacourseinlogic myself,so Ihadallthefactsatmy fingertips。
“Poll’,”I said to herwhenIpickedherupon ournext date,“tonightwe are goingovertothe Knollandtalk。
”
“Oo,terrif,”shereplied.OnethingIwillsayfor this girl:
youwouldgo farto findanotherso agreeable.
Wewentto theKnoll,thecampus trystingplace, and wesatdownunderanoldoak,andshelookedat meexpectantly.“What are wegoing totalkabout?
” sheasked。
“Logic.”
Shethought this over foraminuteanddecidedshe likedit。
“Magnif,”shesaid。
“Logic,” Isaid, clearing mythroat, “is the scienceof thinking。
Beforewecan thinkcorrectly, wemustfirstlearnto recognize thecommonfallacies of logic。
Thesewewilltake uptonight。
”
“Wow—dow!
”she cried, clappingherhandsdelightedly.
Iwinced,butwentbravely on.“Firstlet us examinethe fallacycalled DictoSimpliciter。
”
“Byallmeans," sheurged, battingherlasheseagerly。
“DictoSimplicitermeansanargumentbasedonanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forexample:
Exerciseis good。
Thereforeeverybody should exercise。
”
“Iagree,” saidPolly earnestly.“Imeanexerciseiswonderful。
Imean itbuildsthebodyandeverything.”
“Polly,”Isaid gently,“theargument isafallacy.Exerciseis goodisan unqualifiedgeneralization。
Forinstance,if youhaveheartdisease,exerciseis bad, not good. Many peopleareorderedbytheirdoctors nottoexercise。
Youmustqualifythegeneralization.You mustsay exerciseisusuallygood,orexerciseisgoodformostpeople. OtherwiseyouhavecommittedaDictoSimpliciter。
Doyou see?
”
“No,”sheconfessed.“Butthisismarvy.Domore!
Domore!
”
“It willbebetter ifyoustoptugging at mysleeve,”Itoldher,andwhenshedesisted,Icontinued。
“Nextwe takeupafallacycalledHastyGeneralization.Listencarefully:
You can’tspeakFrench. PeteyBellowscan
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