The Rose of Dixie.docx
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The Rose of Dixie.docx
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TheRoseofDixie
TheRoseofDixie
WhenTheRoseofDixiemagazinewasstartedbyastockcompanyinToombsCity,Georgia,therewasneverbutonecandidateforitschiefeditorialpositioninthemindsofitsowners.Col.AquilaTelfairwasthemanfortheplace.Byalltherightsoflearning,family,reputation,andSoutherntraditions,hewasitsforeordained,fit,andlogicaleditor.So,acommitteeofthepatrioticGeorgiacitizenswhohadsubscribedthefoundingfundof$100,000calleduponColonelTelfairathisresidence,CedarHeights,fearfullesttheenterpriseandtheSouthshouldsufferbyhispossiblerefusal.
Thecolonelreceivedtheminhisgreatlibrary,wherehespentmostofhisdays.Thelibraryhaddescendedtohimfromhisfather.Itcontainedtenthousandvolumes,someofwhichhadbeenpublishedaslateastheyear1861.Whenthedeputationarrived,ColonelTelfairwasseatedathismassivewhite-pinecentre-table,readingBurton'sAnatomyofMelancholy.Hearoseandshookhandspunctiliouslywitheachmemberofthecommittee.IfyouwerefamiliarwithTheRoseofDixieyouwillrememberthecolonel'sportrait,whichappearedinitfromtimetotime.Youcouldnotforgetthelong,carefullybrushedwhitehair;thehooked,high-bridgednose,slightlytwistedtotheleft;thekeeneyesunderthestillblackeyebrows;theclassicmouthbeneaththedroopingwhitemustache,slightlyfrazzledattheends.
Thecommitteesolicitouslyofferedhimthepositionofmanagingeditor,humblypresentinganoutlineofthefieldthatthepublicationwasdesignedtocoverandmentioningacomfortablesalary.Thecolonel'slandsweregrowingpoorereachyearandweremuchcutupbyredgullies.Besides,thehonorwasnotonetoberefused.
Inaforty-minutespeechofacceptance,ColonelTelfairgaveanoutlineofEnglishliteraturefromChaucertoMacaulay,re-foughtthebattleofChancellorsville,andsaidthat,Godhelpinghim,hewouldsoconductTheRoseofDixiethatitsfragranceandbeautywouldpermeatetheentireworld,hurlingbackintotheteethoftheNorthernminionstheirbeliefthatnogeniusorgoodcouldexistinthebrainsandheartsofthepeoplewhosepropertytheyhaddestroyedandwhoserightstheyhadcurtailed.
OfficesforthemagazinewerepartitionedoffandfurnishedinthesecondflooroftheFirstNationalBankbuilding;anditwasforthecoloneltocauseTheRoseofDixietoblossomandflourishortowiltinthebalmyairofthelandofflowers.
ThestaffofassistantsandcontributorsthatEditor-ColonelTelfairdrewabouthimwasapeach.ItwasawholecrateofGeorgiapeaches.Thefirstassistanteditor,TolliverLeeFairfax,hadhadafatherkilledduringPickett'scharge.Thesecondassistant,KeatsUnthank,wasthenephewofoneofMorgan'sRaiders.Thebookreviewer,JacksonRockingham,hadbeentheyoungestsoldierintheConfederatearmy,havingappearedonthefieldofbattlewithaswordinonehandandamilk-bottleintheother.Thearteditor,RoncesvallesSykes,wasathirdcousintoanephewofJeffersonDavis.MissLaviniaTerhune,thecolonel'sstenographerandtypewriter,hadanauntwhohadoncebeenkissedbyStonewallJackson.TommyWebster,theheadoffice-boy,gothisjobbyhavingrecitedFatherRyan'spoems,complete,atthecommencementexercisesoftheToombsCityHighSchool.ThegirlswhowrappedandaddressedthemagazinesweremembersofoldSouthernfamiliesinReducedCircumstances.ThecashierwasascrubnamedHawkins,fromAnnArbor,Michigan,whohadrecommendationsandabondfromaguaranteecompanyfiledwiththeowners.EvenGeorgiastockcompaniessometimesrealizethatittakesliveonestoburythedead.
Well,sir,ifyoubelieveme,TheRoseofDixieblossomedfivetimesbeforeanybodyheardofitexceptthepeoplewhobuytheirhooksandeyesinToombsCity.ThenHawkinsclimbedoffhisstoolandtoldon'emtothestockcompany.EveninAnnArborhehadbeenusedtohavinghisbusinesspropositionsheardofatleastasfarawayasDetroit.Soanadvertisingmanagerwasengaged--BeauregardFitzhughBanks,ayoungmaninalavendernecktie,whosegrandfatherhadbeentheExaltedHighPillow-slipoftheKukluxKlan.
InspiteofwhichTheRoseofDixiekeptcomingouteverymonth.AlthoughineveryissueitranphotosofeithertheTajMahalortheLuxembourgGardens,orCarmencitaorLaFollette,acertainnumberofpeopleboughtitandsubscribedforit.Asaboomforit,Editor-ColonelTelfairranthreedifferentviewsofAndrewJackson'soldhome,"TheHermitage,"afull-pageengravingofthesecondbattleofManassas,entitled"LeetotheRear!
"andafive-thousand-wordbiographyofBelleBoydinthesamenumber.Thesubscriptionlistthatmonthadvanced118.AlsotherewerepoemsinthesameissuebyLeoninaVashtiHaricot(pen-name),relatedtotheHaricotsofCharleston,SouthCarolina,andBillThompson,nephewofoneofthestockholders.Andanarticlefromaspecialsocietycorrespondentdescribingatea-partygivenbytheswellBostonandEnglishset,wherealotofteawasspilledoverboardbysomeoftheguestsmasqueradingasIndians.
Onedayapersonwhosebreathwouldeasilycloudamirror,hewassomuchalive,enteredtheofficeofTheRoseofDixie.Hewasamanaboutthesizeofareal-estateagent,withaself-tiedtieandamannerthathemusthaveborrowedconjointlyfromWJ.Bryan,Hackenschmidt,andHettyGreen.Hewasshownintotheeditor-colonel'sponsasinorum.ColonelTelfairroseandbeganaPrinceAlbertbow.
"I'mThacker,"saidtheintruder,takingtheeditor'schair--"T.T.Thacker,ofNewYork."
Hedribbledhastilyuponthecolonel'sdesksomecards,abulkymanilaenvelope,andaletterfromtheownersofTheRoseofDixie.ThisletterintroducedMr.Thacker,andpolitelyrequestedColonelTelfairtogivehimaconferenceandwhateverinformationaboutthemagazinehemightdesire.
"I'vebeencorrespondingwiththesecretaryofthemagazineownersforsometime,"saidThacker,briskly."I'mapracticalmagazinemanmyself,andacirculationboosterasgoodasany,ifIdosayit.I'llguaranteeanincreaseofanywherefromtenthousandtoahundredthousandayearforanypublicationthatisn'tprintedinadeadlanguage.I'vehadmyeyeonTheRoseofDixieeversinceitstarted.Iknoweveryendofthebusinessfromeditingtosettinguptheclassifiedads.Now,I'vecomedownheretoputagoodbunchofmoneyinthemagazine,ifIcanseemywayclear.Itoughttobemadetopay.Thesecretarytellsmeit'slosingmoney.Idon'tseewhyamagazineintheSouth,ifit'sproperlyhandled,shouldn'tgetagoodcirculationintheNorth,too.
"ColonelTelfairleanedbackinhischairandpolishedhisgold-rimmedglasses.
"Mr.Thacker,"saidhe,courteouslybutfirmly,"TheRoseofDixieisapublicationdevotedtothefosteringandthevoicingofSoutherngenius.Itswatchword,whichyoumayhaveseenonthecover,is'Of,For,andBytheSouth.'"
"Butyouwouldn'tobjecttoaNortherncirculation,wouldyou?
"askedThacker.
"Isuppose,"saidtheeditor-colonel,"thatitiscustomarytoopenthecirculationliststoall.Idonotknow.Ihavenothingtodowiththebusinessaffairsofthemagazine.Iwascalledupontoassumeeditorialcontrolofit,andIhavedevotedtoitsconductsuchpoorliterarytalentsasImaypossessandwhateverstoreoferuditionImayhaveacquired."
"Sure,"saidThacker."Butadollarisadollaranywhere,North,South,orWest--whetheryou'rebuyingcodfish,gooberpeas,orRockyFordcantaloupes.Now,I'vebeenlookingoveryourNovembernumber.Iseeonehereonyourdesk.Youdon'tmindrunningoveritwithme?
"Well,yourleadingarticleisallright.Agoodwrite-upofthecotton-beltwithplentyofphotographsisawinneranytime.NewYorkisalwaysinterestedinthecottoncrop.AndthissensationalaccountofHatfield-McCoyfeud,byaschoolmateofanieceoftheGovernorofKentucky,isn'tsuchabadidea.Ithappenedsolongagothatmostpeoplehaveforgottenit.Now,here'sapoemthreepageslongcalled'TheTyrant'sFoot,'byLorellaLascelles.I'vepawedaroundagooddealovermanuscripts,butIneversawhernameonarejectionslip."
"MissLascelles,"saidtheeditor,"isoneofourmostwidelyrecognizedSouthernpoetesses.SheiscloselyrelatedtotheAlabamaLascellesfamily,andmadewithherownhandsthesilkenConfederatebannerthatwaspresentedtothegovernorofthatstateathisinauguration."
"Butwhy,"persistedThacker,"isthepoemillustratedwithaviewoftheM.&0.RailroadfreightdepotatTuscaloosa?
"
"Theillustration,"saidthecolonel,withdignity,"showsacornerofthefencesurroundingtheoldhomesteadwhereMissLascelleswasborn."
"Allright,"saidThacker."Ireadthepoem,butIcouldn'ttellwhetheritwasaboutthedepotofthebattleofBullRun.Now,here'sashortstorycalled'Rosies'Temptation,'byFosdykePiggott.It'srotten.WhatisaPiggott,anyway?
"
"Mr.Piggott,"saidtheeditor,"isabrotheroftheprincipalstockholderofthemagazine."
"All'srightwiththeworld--Piggottpasses,"saidThacker."WellthisarticleonArcticexplorationandtheoneontarponfishingmightgo.Buthowaboutthiswrite-upoftheAtlanta,NewOrleans,Nashville,andSavannahbreweries?
Itseemstoconsistmainlyofstatisticsabouttheiroutputandthequalityoftheirbeer.What'sthechipoverthebug?
"
"IfIunderstandyourfigurativelanguage,"answeredColonelTelfair,"itisthis:
thearticleyourefertowashandedtomebytheownersofthemagazinewithinstructionstopublishit.Theliteraryqualityofitdidnotappealtome.But,inameasure,Ifeelimpelledtoconform,incertainmatters,tothewishesofthegentlemenwhoareinterestedinthefinancialsideofT
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