好汉两个半第二季Two and a Half Men中英剧本.docx
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好汉两个半第二季Two and a Half Men中英剧本.docx
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好汉两个半第二季TwoandaHalfMen中英剧本
第一集
天啊这就是比赛Man.Okay,well,that'sthegame.
爸爸给我零花钱Dad,canIhavemyallowance?
给你Sure.Here.
谢谢给你Thanks.Here.
很高兴和你交易Pleasuredoingbusinesswithyou.
等等你把我儿子的零花钱用在赌球上You'retakingmyson'sallowanceonafootballbet?
他也有赢的时候要知道这只是奖励罢了Hey,whenhewins,Ipayoff.Youknow,minusthe
vig.
这可是因为他自己整理床我奖励给他的Minusthevig.You'recharginghimfortheprivilege
ofmakingabet?
这确实是奖励爸爸That'swhatthevigis,Dad.
面对现实吧学校里不会教这些东西的Faceit.He'snotgonnalearnthisstuffinschool.
我不在乎把钱还他Idon'tcare.Givehimhisallowanceback.
好吧Fine.
作为你赌博的惩罚这钱我没收了Yougetnoallowance.That'syourpunishmentfor
gambling.
我说的吧是的你是对的Toldyouhe'ddothat.Yeah,youdid.
很高兴和你交易Pleasuredoingbusinesswithyou.
今晚这里有个重要活动帮个忙Hey,listen.Afteryoudrophimoffathismom'shousetonight,
domeafavor?
差一句翻译她叫什么名字Justmakeyourselfscarce,okay?
What'shername?
还是我问的太早Orisittooearlytoask?
不是女人只是叫些我的朋友过来这It'snotagirl.I'mjusthavingfriendsover.
玩扑克我能参加吗Oh,poker?
Oh,canIplay?
比起以前我现在玩得很好了不是扑克I'mbetterthanIusedtobe.It'snotpoker.
同花比顺子大Wait.Aflushbeatsastraight...
俘虏比同花大对吧...andafullboatbeatsaflush,right?
Right...
俘虏和三加二是一样的Afullhouseandafullboatarethesame...
我保证我再也不会说"三俘虏二"了...soIwon'tsay"fullhouseboat"anymore.
不是打扑克那是什么It'snotpoker,Alan.Thenwhat'sgoingon?
只是一些朋友聚在一起抽抽雪茄I'mjusthavingsomefriendsovertosmokecigars...
品尝下精酿苏格兰威士忌以及随便聊聊...samplesomefinesinglemaltScotchand,you
know,talk.
这些我都很喜欢除了...威士忌让我有点胃胀气Ienjoyallthosethings.Well,Scotchmakes
mealittlegassy.
但吃点健胃消食片就没事了ButI'lltakeaBeanoandI'mgoodtogo.
很好但我认为你不适合参加That'snice,butIdon'tthinkyou'dbecomfortable.
为什么因为我们讨论私事Whynot?
Becausewetalkaboutpersonalthings.
你是说类似于互助会不不不不是互助会Youmeanlikeasupportgroup?
No,no,no.
It'snotasupportgroup.
是男人们聚在一起谈论他们这几个月的生活It'sjustguyswhogettogethertotalkabout
theirlives.
那就是互助会不不是That'sasupportgroup.No,it'snot.
那不是Okay,it'snot.
那不是It'snot.
我知道了那为什么我不能参加Gotit.Sowhycan'tIcome?
因为参加的人都是我的朋友Becausethesemenaremyfriends.
我们彼此信任和坦诚There'saleveloftrustandconfidentiality.
我不是你朋友?
你是我弟弟I'myourfriend.No,you'remybrother.
等等你认为我不是你朋友?
Waitaminute.Youdon'tconsidermeafriend?
这不是由我来决定的It'snotuptome.
朋友是可以选择的弟弟是命中注定没得挑的Afriendissomeoneyouchoose.Abrotheris
someoneyouget.
什么?
没有选择余地Excuseme?
There'snochoiceinvolved.
你爸爸就那么看着你然后说Yourdadjustwakesyouupinthenightandsays:
你母亲不是发胖那不再是你一个人的房间了"Yourmomwasn'treallyfatandthisisn't
yourroomanymore."
所以那么多年来我对你只是一个入侵者Soalltheseyears,I'vejustbeenanintrudertoyou?
一个不便一个累赘?
Aninconvenience?
Aburden?
你也可以这么理解Well,sure.Youcanspinitthatway.
我不知道你原来这么想的Youknow,Ihadnoideayoufeltthisway.
我很伤心Iamvery,veryhurt.
但你晚上还是会晚点回来的对吧?
Butyou'llstillmakeyourselfscarce,right?
再见查理叔叔回见朋友Bye,UncleCharlie.Seeyou,buddy.
他是你的朋友?
艾伦别扯了Oh,he'syourbuddy?
Alan,don'tstart.
他怎么会是你的朋友?
你没有选择他Howisheyourbuddy?
Youdidn'tchoosehim.
我选择让他留在这你也让我住在这里的Ichosetolethimstayhere.Youchosetolet
mestayheretoo.
不我选择了他多出了个你No.Ichosehim,Igotyou.
要知道有时候我真的很讨厌你Youknow,therearetimesIjustloatheyou.
那对于没把你当朋友不该觉得惊讶吧?
Andyetyou'resurprisedIdon'tconsideryouafriend.
好吧去和你那些所谓的知心朋友做互助会Okay,haveyourrealfriendstoyourlittle
"supportgroup."
那不是...那就是互助会Itisnot...Itisasupportgroup!
那是一帮没用并且无所事是的人聚在一起的互助会It'sasupportgroupforweak,rudderless
men.
我是绝对不会参加的除非你求我AndIwouldn'tbeapartofitifyoubeggedme.
好吧再见Okay,bye.
爸听听这个你可以自己挑选朋友Dad,checkthisout.Youcanpickyourfriends...
也可以挖鼻屎但你无法挖你朋友的鼻屎...youcanpickyournose,butyoucan'tpickyour
friend'snose.
知道谁告诉我的吗?
我可以猜到Youknowwhotoldmethat?
Icanguess.
查理叔叔说的知道为什么那么好笑吗因为是事实UncleCharlie.Andyouknowwhyit's
funny?
Becauseit'strue.
是是啊周末过的愉快点杰克Yeah,yeah.Haveaniceweek,Jake.
再见爸爸妈妈能给我点零花钱吗Bye,Dad.Hi,Mom.CanIhavemyallowance?
很高兴见到你甜心Imissedyoutoo,sweetie.
谢谢你把他接过来等等茱迪丝Thanksfordroppinghimby.Judith,holdon.
你认为我们是朋友吗?
Doyouconsiderusfriends?
我只知道你是我前夫Iconsideryoumyexhusband.
我知道但先把我们那无爱的婚姻和...Iknow.Butputtingasideforthemoment...
糟糕的离婚放一边...ourlovelessmarriageandmessydivorce...
我们之间总还是有着某种联系对吧?
...wealwayshadacertaincamaraderie,amIright?
我们现在能不能不谈这个我正在招待朋友吃晚饭Canwetalksomeothertime?
I'mhaving
peopleoverfordinner.
真的吗?
有我认识的人吗?
Oh,really?
AnybodyIknow?
桑德拉和霍华德我能去打声招呼吗?
SandraandHoward.Oh,nokidding.CanIsay
hello?
我想最好不要为什么?
I'dratheryoudidn't.Whynot?
桑德拉和霍华德也是我的朋友事实上还是我介绍你们认识的SandraandHowardaremy
friendstoo.Infact,Iintroducedthemtoyou.
是的那你何不以后给他们打电话邀请他们去你家做客Well,whydon'tyoucallthemand
invitethemtoyourhouse.
这就是我的家那些也是我的朋友Thisismyhouse.Thoseweremyfriends.
事实上是你在我家和我的朋友一起吃晚饭Thefactis,you'rehavingmyfriendsfordinnerin
myhouse.
是的艾伦就是这么回事Yes,Alan,thatisexactlywhat'shappening.
我说对的就是对的Well,whenI'mright,I'mright.
我先来说说我的事但不能传出去I'vegotsomethingIwannatalkabout,butit'sgottastay
inthisroom.
没什么东西会传出去的Everythingstaysintheroom.
没错犹大你打算偷偷Yeah,sure,Judas.Doesthatincludeveiledreferences...
用在你那些垃圾歌里对吧...inoneofyourwiseasssongs?
我说过了不好意思没诚意也太晚了Isaidsorryaboutthat.Toolittle,toolate.
行了不要每次我们聚在一起都要旧事重提Wehavetogothroughthiseverytimeweget
together?
事情都过去了谢谢啦It'swaterunderthebridge.Thankyou.
尽管他杀了你也不足惜因为你没在格莱美获奖致词里感谢他Itwouldn'thavekilledyouto
thankhiminyourGrammyspeech.
我本来是要说的但巴克拉赫的致词太长了ThatIwould'vedone,but,youknow,Bacharach
搞得我没时间了hejustwentonsolong.
别管那个了Well,getonwithit.
好吧我是想说Allright.HowdoIsaythis?
你们中有谁会半夜起床去上厕所吗?
Doanyofyougetupinthemiddleofthenighttopee?
去的偶尔Sure.Occasionally.
有时我根本还没起床就解决了Sometimes,Idon'tevengetup.
这就是你不想让我写进歌词的?
ThisiswhatIcan'twritesongsabout?
你厉害Oh,drat.
听着这跟尿尿无关Allright,look.It'snotaboutpeeing,perse.
是慢慢老去的问题It'saboutgettingolder.
我躺在我妻子旁边I'mlayinginbedwithmywife.
她看上去美丽性感依旧Shelooksbeautiful,sexy.
可我想要做的就是吃完爆米花去睡觉AllIwannadoisfinishmyCornPopsandgotosleep.
你在干嘛?
Whatareyoudoing?
写购物单没啥别多想Shoppinglist.Youknow,justashoppinglist.
你是说你那面老旗只能升一半了?
Soyou'resayingtheoldflag'sathalfmast?
不那面老旗很好No,theoldflagisfine.
而且如果你不介意请别用老旗来形容AndI'drathernotrefertoitasanoldflag,ifyoudon't
mind.
我要说的是是关于转换个人首要目标之类的No,mypointis,it'saboutshiftingprioritiesor
something.
老旗软了砍了Flag,drag,hag.
我会戳穿你的眼镜直插眼珠子要不要试试?
Iwillknockyourglassesthroughyoureyeballs.I
willdoit.
让我告诉你们点老话Letmetellyousomething,fellas.
不管别人怎么说你觉得自己老了就是老了Itdoesn'tmatterwhatthecalendarsays,
you'reasoldasyoufeel.
我觉得自己Me,Ifeel...
就好象...like...
煮熟的屎...boiledcrap.
大家好老天爷Hello.Oh,man.
十分抱歉他是我弟弟I'msorry,guys.It'smybrother.
你怎么回来了Weagreedyouweren'tgonnabehere.
别担心我只是回来拿我的电话本Don'tworry,Ijustneedmyphonebook.
那个不是...是的Isthat...?
Yes.
那...是的Andthat...?
Yeah.
那个Andthat?
他曾经是现在不是了Heusedtobe.Notanymore.
我不认识他HimIdon'trecognize.
他是我的赌博记簿人He'sourbookie.
你叫了赌博记簿人不叫我?
Youcanhaveyourbookie,butnotme?
赌博记簿人就象能够选择的朋友Bookies,likefriends,arechosen.
好吧十分抱歉打扰了Okay.Okay,fine.I'msorrytointerrupt.
我要我的电话本然后叫我的朋友出来IneedmyaddressbooksoIcancalloneofmyfriends.
不介意快点完事就出去Theydon'tcare.Hurryupandgetout.
"快点完事就出去"听上去象是和我前妻在做爱一样Hurryupandgetout.Soundslikesex
withmyexwife.
我不知道查理是否告诉过你们我刚和我妻子离婚Idon'tknowifCharlietoldyou,butI'm
recentlydivorced...
真是条坎坷的路啊...andit'sbeenkindofaroughroad.
你的电话本谢谢Here'syourphonebook.Thankyou.
谢谢当然其实是有迹象预示的我本该看见些征兆的Ofcourse,Iguessinhindsight,I
shouldhaveseenitcoming,but...
我数到三再见I'mgonnacounttothree.Bye.
十分抱歉我告诉我弟弟他不能参加Sorryaboutthat.He'sbentoutofshapebecauseItold
him...
因此他有点沮丧为什么不能?
...hecouldn'tbepartofthegroup.Whynot?
刚才你们没看见吗?
相信我他根本还没痊愈Youjustsawhim,didn'tyou?
Trustme,he
doesn'tgetanybetter.
其实他还认为这是个互助会Imean,heactuallythinksthisisasupportgroup.
这确实是个互助会,查理Thisisasupportgroup,Charlie.
你是唯一一个假装认为我们只是在这里抽雪茄喝老酒的人You'retheonlyonewho's
pretendingit'saboutScotchandcigars.
好吧不管是什么样的组织对于新人加入我们总有规定的吧Whateverkindofgroupitis,we
haverulesaboutnewguysjoining.
但他是你弟弟Well,buthe'syourbrother.
很显然他现在正处于困难时期He'sobviouslygoingthrougharoughtime.
你应该多多支持他的Seemslikeyoushouldbemoresupportive,pal.
是的我支持他的已经够多了Hey,Isupporthimplenty.
我收留他住给他吃的Isharemyhomewithhim.Isharemyfoodwithhim.
为了他我搬走了足球桌腾出车库来给他停车Imovedmyfoosballtablesohecouldparkin
mygarage.
你们还想我怎么样?
Whatmoredoyoupeoplewantfromme?
孩子我来和你谈谈关于分享Letmetellyousomethingaboutsharing,kid.
分享是双向的Sharingisatwowaystreet.
当你与另个人分享时Whenyousharewithanotherhumanbeing...
你得到的回报通常会更多...youalwaysgetbackmorethanyougave.
当然要假设你够机灵Assumingthatyou'resmartenoughtosharewithsomebody...
选和比你有钱的人分享...that'sgotmorestuffthanyouhadinthebeginning.
你好迪克我是艾伦你最近怎么样伙计Hey,Dick,it'sAlan.How'sitgoing,buddy?
很好很好Oh,good,good.
今晚你想不想看电影Listen.Youmaybewannacatchamovietonight?
真的吗?
你和洛斯还有茱迪丝都在一起有意思Oh,really?
YouandRozareatJudith'stoo.
Interesting.
所以除了我的房子我一半的钱和我的自尊外Soinadditiontomyhouse,halfmymoney,
andmyselfesteem...
茱迪丝还接管了我所有的朋友的"监护权"...Judithgotcustodyofallmyfriends.
不不不别让她接电话No,no,no,Idon'twannatakeitupwithher.I...
你好茱迪丝Hi,Judith.
不我没想毁了你的聚会No,no.I'mnottryingtoruinyourparty.
其实我也有自己的小聚会了Infact,I'vegotalittlepartyofmyown.
艾伦到床上来我冷Alan,comebacktobed.I'mcold.
马上来宝贝Beright
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