FrankOConnorGUESTSOFTHENATION.docx
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FrankOConnorGUESTSOFTHENATION.docx
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FrankOConnorGUESTSOFTHENATION
FrankO’Connor:
GuestoftheNation(1931)
AtduskthebigEnglishman,Belcher,wouldshifthislonglegsoutoftheashesandsay"Well,chums,whataboutit?
"andNobleandmyselfwouldsay"Allright,chum"(forwehadpickedupsomeoftheircuriousexpressions),andthelittleEnglishman,Hawkins,wouldlightthelampandbringoutthecards.SometimesJeremiahDonovanwouldcomeupandsupervisethegame,andgetexcitedoverHawkins'cards,whichhealwaysplayedbadly,andshoutathimasifhewasoneofourown,"Ah,youdivil,whydidn'tyouplaythe
tray?
"
ButordinarilyJeremiahwasasoberandcontentedpoordevillikethebigEnglishman,Belcher,andwaslookeduptoonlybecausehewasafairhandatdocuments,thoughhewasslowevenwiththem.Heworeasmallclothhatandbiggaitersoverhislongpants,andyouseldomsawhimwithhishandsoutofhispockets.Hereddenedwhenyoutalkedtohim,tiltingfromtoetoheelandback,andlookingdownallthe,timeathisbigfarmer'sfeet.Nobleandmyselfusedtomakefunofhisbroadaccent,becausewewerebothfromthetown.
IcouldnotatthetimeseethepointofmyselfandNobleguardingBelcherandHawkinsatall,foritwasmybeliefthatyoucouldhaveplantedthatpairdownanywherefromthistoClaregalwayandthey'dhavetakenroottherelikeanativeweed.Ineverinmyshortexperiencesawtwomentaketothecountryastheydid.
TheywerepassedontousbytheSecondBattalionwhenthesearchforthembecametoohot,andNobleandmyself,beingyoung,tookthemoverwithanaturalfeelingofresponsibility,butHawkinsmadeuslooklikefoolswhenheshowedthatheknewthecountrybetterthanwedid.
"You'rethebloketheycallBonaparte,"hesaystome."MaryBrigidO'Connelltoldmetoaskwhatyou'ddonewiththepairofherbrother'ssocksyouborrowed."
Foritseemed,astheyexplainedit,thattheSecondhadlittleevenings,andsomeofthegirlsoftheneighborhoodturnedup,and,seeingtheyweresuchdecentchaps,ourfellowscouldnotleavethetwoEnglishmenout.Hawkinslearnedtodance"TheWallsofLimerick,""TheSiegeofEnnis"and“TheWavesofTory"aswellasanyofthem,thoughhecouldnotreturnthecompliment,becauseourladsatthattimedidnotdanceforeigndancesonprinciple.
SowhateverprivilegesBelcherandHawkinshadwiththeSecondtheyjusttooknaturallywithus,andafterthefirstcoupleofdayswegaveupallpretenceofkeepinganeyeonthem.Notthattheycouldhavegotfar,becausetheyhadaccentsyoucouldcutwithaknife,andworekhakitunicsandovercoatswithcivilianpantsandboots,butIbelievemyselftheyneverhadanyideaofescapingandwerequitecontenttobewheretheywere.
ItwasatreattoseehowBelchergotoffwiththeoldwomaninthehousewherewewerestaying.Shewasagreatwarranttoscold,andcrankyevenwithus,butbeforeevershehadachanceofgivingourguests,asImaycallthem,alickofhertongue,Belcherhadmadeherhisfriendforlife.Shewasbreakingsticks,andBelcher,whohadnotbeenmorethantenminutesinthehouse,jumpedupandwentovertoher.
"Allowme,madam,"hesaid,smilinghisqueerlittlesmile."Pleaseallowme,"andhetookthehatchetfromher.Shewastoosurprisedtospeak,andafterthat,Belcherwouldbeatherheels,carryingabucket,abasketoraloadofturf.AsNoblesaid,hegotintolookingbeforesheleapt,andhotwater,oranylittlethingshewanted,Belcherwouldhavereadyforher.Forsuchahugeman(andthoughIamfivefoottenmyselfIhadtolookupathim)hehadanuncommonlackofspeech.Ittookusalittlewhiletogetusedtohim,walkinginandoutlikeaghost,withoutspeaking.EspeciallybecauseHawkinstalkedenoughforaplatoon,itwasstrangetohearBelcherwithhistoesintheashescomeoutwithasolitary"Excuseme,chum,"or"That'sright,chum."Hisoneandonlypassionwascards,andhewasaremarkablygoodcardplayer.HecouldhaveskinnedmyselfandNoble,butwhateverwelosttohim,Hawkinslosttous,andHawkinsonlyplayedwiththemoneyBelchergavehim.
Hawkinslosttousbecausehehadtoomucholdgab,andweprobablylosttoBelcherforthesamereason.HawkinsandNoblearguedaboutreligionintotheearlyhoursofthemorning,andHawkinsworriedthelifeoutof'Noble,whohadabrotherapriest,withastringofquestionsthatwouldpuzzleacardinal.Evenintreatingofholysubjects,Hawkinshadadeplorabletongue.Inevermetamanwhocouldmixsuchavarietyofcursingandbadlanguageintoanyargument.Hewasaterribleman,andafrighttoargue.Heneverdidastrokeofwork,andwhenhehadnooneelsetoarguewith,hegotstuckintheoldwoman.
Hemethismatchinher,forwhenhetriedtogethertocomplainprofanelyofthedroughtshegavehimagreatcomedownbyblamingitentirelyonJupiterPluvius(adeityneitherHawkinsnorIhadeverheardof,thoughNoblesaidthatamongthepagansitwasbelievedthathehadsomethingtodowiththerain).AnotherdayhewasswearingatthecapitalistsforstartingtheGermanwarwhentheoldladylaiddownheriron,puckeredupherlittlecrab'smouthandsaid:
"Mr.Hawkins,youcansaywhatyoulikeaboutthewar,andthinkyou'lldeceivemebecauseI'monlyasimplepoorcountrywoman,butIknowwhatstartedthewar.ItwastheItalianCountthatstoletheheathendivinityoutofthetempleofJapan.Believeme,Mr.Hawkins,nothingbutsorrowandwantcanfollowpeoplewhodisturbthehiddenpowers."
Aqueeroldgirl,allright.
II
OneeveningwehadourteaandHawkinslitthelampandweallsatintocards.JeremiahDonovancameintoo,andsatandwatchedusforawhile,anditsuddenlystruckmethathehadnogreatloveforthetwoEnglishmen.ItcameasasurprisetomebecauseIhadnoticednothingofitbefore.
LateintheeveningareallyterribleargumentblewupbetweenHawkinsandNobleaboutcapitalistsandpriestsandloveofcountry.
"Thecapitalistspaytheprieststotellyouaboutthenextworldsothatyouwon'tnoticewhatthebastardsareuptointhis,"saidHawkins
"Nonsense,man!
"saidNoble,losinghistemper.
"Beforeeveracapitalistwasthoughtofpeoplebelievedinthenextworld."
Hawkinsstoodupasthoughhewaspreaching.
"Oh,theydid,didthey?
"hesaidwithasneer."Theybelievedallthethingsyoubelieve---isn'tthatwhatyoumean?
AndyoubelieveGodcreatedAdam,andAdamcreatedShem,andShemcreatedJehoshophat.YoubelieveallthatsillyoldfairytaleaboutEveandEdenandtheapple.Welllistentome,chum!
Ifyou'reentitledtoasillybelieflikethat,I'mentitledtomyownsillybelief-whichisthatthefirstthingyourGodcreatedwasableedingcapitalist,withmoralityandRolls-Roycecomplete.AmIright,chum?
"hesaystoBelcher.
"You'reright,chum,"saysBelcherwithasmile,andhegotupfromthetabletostretchhislonglegsintothefireandstrokehismoustache.So,seeingthatJeremiahDonovanwasgoing,andthattherewasnoknowingwhentheargumentaboutreligionwouldbeover,Iwentoutwithhim.Westrolleddowntothevillagetogether,andthenhestopped,blushingandmumbling,andsaidIshouldbebehind,keepingguard.Ididn'tlikethetonehetookwithme,andanywayIwasboredwithlifeinthecottage,soIrepliedbyaskingwhatthehellwewantedtoguardthemforatall.
Helookedatmeinsurpriseandsaid:
"Ithoughtyouknewwewerekeepingthemashostages."
"Hostages?
"Isaid.
"Theenemyhaveprisonersbelongingtous,andnowthey'retalkingofshootingthem,"hesaid."Iftheyshootourprisoners,we'llshoottheirs."
"ShootBelcherandHawkins?
"Isaid.
"Whatelsedidyouthinkwewerekeepingthemfor?
"hesaid."Wasn'titveryunforeseenofyounottowarnNobleandmyselfofthatinthebeginning?
"Isaid.
"Howwasit?
"hesaid."Youmighthaveknownthatmuch."
"Wecouldnotknowit,JeremiahDonovan,"Isaid."Howcouldwewhentheywereonourhandssolong?
"
"Theenemyhaveourprisonersaslongandlonger,"hesaid.
"That'snotthesamethingatall,"saidI.
"Whatdifferenceisthere?
"saidhe.
Icouldn’ttellhim,becauseIknewhewouldn'tunderstand.Ifitwasonlyanolddogthatyouhadtotaketothevet's,you'dtryandnotgettoofondofhim,butJeremiahDonovanwasnotamanwhowouldeverbeindangerofthat.
"Andwhenisthistobedecided?
"Isaid.
"Wemightheartonight,"hesaid."Ortomorroworthenextdayatlatest.Soifit'sonlyhangingroundthat'satroubletoyou,you'llbefreesoonenough."
Itwasnotthehangingroundthatwasatroubletomeatallbythistime.Ihadworsethingstoworryabout.WhenIgotbacktothecottagetheargumentwasstillon.Hawkinswasholdingforthinhisbeststyle,maintainingthattherewasnonextworld,andNoblesayingthattherewas;butIcouldseethatHawkinshadhadthebestofit.
"Doyouknowwhat,chum?
"hewassayingwithasaucysmile."Ithinkyou'rejustasbigableedingunbelieverasIam.Yousayyoubelieveinthenextworld,andyouknowjustasmuchaboutthenextworldasIdo,whichissweetdamn-all.What'sheaven?
Youdon'tknow.Where'sheaven?
Youdon'tknow.Youknowsweetdamn-all!
Iaskyouagain,dotheywearwings?
"
"Verywell,then,"saidNoble."Theydo.Isthatenoughforyou?
Theydowearwings."
"Wheredotheygetthemthen?
Whomakesthem?
Havetheyafactoryforwings?
Havetheyasortofstorewhereyouhandin,yourchitandtakeyourbleedingwings?
"
"You'reanimpossiblemantoarguewith,"saidNoble."Now,listentome---"Andtheywereoffagain.
Itwaslongaftermidnightwhenwelockedupandwenttobed.AsIblewoutthecandleItoldNoble.Hetookitveryquietly.When
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