1、 No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game. . courtside! Courtside? Oh my God. Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee. Thats so cool. Ill let Monica know. （Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is re
2、ading a book on their sofa as the phone rings. ）Monica: Hello? Joey just called. Hes got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night. Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we wont have a night together for another week. But hey,
3、 its courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . （Pause） Thats not the way to convince you. Chandler look, I dont want to be one of those wives who says, You cant go to the game. You have to spend time with me. So, if you could just realize it on your own. . I know. Youre right. I wan
4、t to see you too. Ive just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know? Hes really looking forward to this. Tell him that you havent seen your wife in a long time. Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have is precious. Yeah, ah,
5、ah. . Ill think of something. OPENING CREDITS Ross and Rachels apartment. Ross is in the living room covering Emma. Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress. Ross: Wow! （pause） Wow, you look. . uh. . Its just, ah. . That dress. . uh. . Rachel: Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good. Well, well,
6、 theyre good. Its been a while since Ive seen you like this. You, you clean up good. Oh well, well thank you. （She laughs. He stares for a moment. ） Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened, （points to Ross） that happened. （points to Emma. ） Oh right, right. （They pause
7、and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away. ） So, are you. . ah. . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma? Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun. And thank you for watching the baby, by the way. Oh, its fine. Actually, I, I invited Mike over. Phoebes Mike? Yeah. I
8、 didnt know you guys hung out. We dont. But I thought it would be nice to get to know him. You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation. Oh thats so cute: Ross and Mikes first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about? I dont know. But, you know,
9、we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. Hes been divorced; I have some experience in that area. （Rachel nods. There is a knock on the door. ）（Phoebe and Mike enter. ）Phoebe: Hi Hey. （spotting Rachels dress） Oooh. Girls night out indeed. （to Ross） Ok. So
10、now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross. . Rach, Rach, well be fine, all right? You go have fun. Okay. You too. And I hope you score. （to Mike） Bye. Mike: Bye. So. . Welcome. （Holds up a six pack of Fosters Lager） I got beer. I got bottled breast milk. Eh, why
11、 dont we start with the beer? Okay. （They sit. ） So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano. You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college. Ah? （pause） Do you have one here? No. Okay. （pause）（They clink beer bottles, and drink. Then, they stare uncomfortably at their bottles. ） Um. . ah
12、. . you know, Im divorced. Um, Phoebe, ah. . Phoebe said you. . Youve been divorced? Yeah. （pause） Yeah, Im sorry. I dont. . I dont really like to talk about it. （pause） Thats okay. Well talk about （pause） something else. （They pause. They drink. ） So, youre a paleontologist, right? My cousins a pal
13、eontologist. （Mike nods. Another pause. ） Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about. Monica and Chandlers apartment. Monica is wearing a sexy negligee. She pours two glasses of wine as Chandler enters with a carry-on suitcase. He sets the case by the door. ） Hi. Welcome home. （Hangs his
14、 jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica. ） Oh well, look at you. Yeah. What do you think? Well, it looks great. Its just that. . well, Im wearing the same thing underneath. So. . Oh. See what I mean. . （They kiss. ）（There is a loud thud at the door. ） Hey! How come the doors
15、locked? Just a second. （hushed） No, no, no, no, no. Joey cant know that Im here. Why not? Because I didnt know how to tell him that I couldnt go to the Knicks game. So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa. So, you lied to him? Achhh. Its always better to lie than to have the complicated disc
16、ussion. （pause） Except with you. Open the door. Whats going on? （He knocks. ）（Monica goes to the door. Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly. ） What are you. . （He sees her in her negligee. ） Why are you dressed like that? Oh, because, um. . well, Chandlers going to be home in a couple
17、of days. So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction. Oh, I thought I heard a mans voice before. Oh I was just doing Chandlers side of the conversation. You know, like, Hi, How do I look? （As Chandler） Really sexy. Could I BE any more turned on? Okay. （pause. He looks over her sho
18、ulder at the table with the wine. ） Whoa, whoa. Why are there two glasses of wine out? Because. . one of them is for you. （Monica turns to get the wine. Chandler peeps through the peephole. Joey, seeing something, peeps back. Chandler ducks. Monica returns with two glasses of wine. She gives one to
19、Joey. ） Cheers. （She clinks his glass and pulls back. ） Okay, buh-bye. （She closes the door. ） You know, its funny. Ive been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself. （He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it. ） Hi ya. You might want to keep practicing. Yah.
20、（Chandlers cell phone rings. He looks at it. ） Its Joey. （He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too. ） Hey Joe. Dude, come home! What? Why?Joey: COME. . HOME. Look I, I cant. Whatt know how to tell you this but, uh. . I think Monicas cheatin on ya. I told you shouldnt have married so
21、meone so much hotter than you. （Chandler and Monica look at each other. Chandler nods. ） All right look. （He walks to the hallway. ） If you cant come home and deal with this, then Im gonna. NO!（outside the apartment door） I just heard him!（softly） Can you. . hear him. . now?（listens at the door. ） N
22、o. （pause） All right, Im going in. No! Wait! I heard him again!（writhes as if in agony） All right, look. Just stay there. Im coming home. Okay. Great. Ill see you when you get here. Im gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out. Is that really necessary? Absolutely. Youd do it for me. Not
23、 that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied. s apartment. Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle. Ross stares off to the side. ） Shouldnt the pizza be here by now? I mean, they said thirty minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?（looking at his watch） Eleven minutes
24、. （long pause） And now twelve. So, do you like the beer? I do. I do. Although, its actually a lager. huh. （pause） Whats the difference between beer and lager?t know. We could look it up. （nods） Things are about to get wild. A bar. Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa. O
25、h God. Remember the girls nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross? Oh God. It seems like forever ago. I know. （sighs） So, whats going on with you and Ross? Well, um. . I dont know. I mean, for a long time nothing. But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross an
26、d I had a. . ah. . little thing. Oh my God! I love things. What happened? Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked. And, ah, then we had a little. . um. . eye-contact. Eye-contact? Mm-hmm. I hope you were using protection. Waiter:（with tray and two drinks） Excuse me. Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar. Oh. （to Phoebe） Should we send them something back? Oooh. Lets do. Lets send them mashed potatoes. No, no. Dont do that!s going to make them think they can come over here. So? What if th
