1、专业学位硕士研究生英语教程02Unit 2Men V.S. (against) Women男女有别Preview You were once involved in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex; if not, just think about your parents or other couples you are familiar with. Smart as you are, you may have noticed that no relationship can avoid frustration or confli
2、ct, no matter how hard the two involved try to understand and compromise. Given their diverse patterns of feeling, communicating, and responding, there is reason to believe that men and women belong to different species (though they are both human beings), and then everything can be explained.Part I
3、 Text ReadingWarm-upI. Ten common complaints that are easily misinterpreted.Sometimes, men and women seldom mean the same things even when they use the same words. In the following chart ten complaints easily misinterpreted are listed, as well as how a man might respond unsupportively.Women say thin
4、gs like this:Men respond like this:We never go out.Thats not true. We went out last week.Everyone ignores me.Im sure some people notice you.I am so tired. I cant do anything.If you dont like your job, then quit.I want to forget everything.I dont think theres anything to forget.The house is always a
5、mess.Its not always a mess.No one listens to me anymore. But Im listening to you right nowNothing is working.Are you saying it is my fault?You dont love me anymore.Of course I do. Thats why Im here.We are always in a hurry.We are not. Friday we were relaxed.I want more romance.Are you saying I am no
6、t romantic? Have you ever complained or responded in the similar way? Please use the sentence pattern: women.while men .to generalize mens and womens speaking patterns. Example:Women complain while men ignore.Women talk about feelings while men talk about facts.Women care while men give the cold sho
7、ulder.II. Here is a problem!Now you have known some differences between men and women, then lets predict what both would say or do when facing the following problems. (X may refer to either a man or a woman)1. A friend asks X to lend an amount of money which X can barely afford.If X is a woman: _If
8、X is a man: _2. Here is a guy in the class or in the office who always bullies X.If X is a woman: _If X is a man: _3. X is laid off and hardly finds another job.If X is a woman: _If X is a man: _4. It seems Xs spouse is involved in an affair with another one.If X is a woman: _If X is a man: _III. An
9、nie tells you!Annie is a marriage counselor. Here is a letter from one of her clients. If you were Annie, what advice would you give?Dear Annie:I am a young married woman. My husband, lets call him Pete, is very possessive and jealous. He also has an anger problem. Anytime I go to the store, he want
10、s to know exactly what store I am going to, who Im going with, when I am going to be home, etc. Pete was like this a little bit before we married, but since we said I do, it has gotten to the point where he will check my underwear to make sure I have returned home in the same pair. Does he expect me
11、 to buy new ones every time I go out? Once, he was really drunk and got physical. It took me a while to forgive him for that, but I will never forget it. I fight with him constantly and we argue over everything. I dont want to file for divorce, but that seems like my only choice. Any advice for a wo
12、man in need?-Frustrated in the FarmlandText(Let)Men Go to Their Caves and Women (go to their) Talk1男女顺其自然John Gray1 One of the biggest differences between men and women is how they cope with (deal with) stress. Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed
13、 (defeated) and emotionally involved. At these times (At these moments), a mans needs for feeling good (良好的感觉) are different from a womans (needs). He feels better by solving problems while she feels better by talking about problems. Not understanding and accepting these differences creates (leads t
14、o) unnecessary friction (conflict) in our relationships (marriages). Lets look at a common (常见的) example.2 When Tom comes home, he wants to relax and unwind (=relaxed) by quietly reading the news. He is stressed (bothered) by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief (解脱-relieve) through for
15、getting them.3 His wife, Mary, also wants to relax from her stressful day. She, however, wants to find (relieve-) relief by talking about the problems of her day. The tension slowly building (strenthening累积) between them gradually becomes resentment (hatred).4 Solving this problem for Tom and Mary d
16、epends not on how much they loved each other but on how much they understood the opposite sex. Without knowing that women really do need to talk about problems to feel better, Tom would continue to think Mary talked too much and resist listening to her. Without knowing that Tom was reading the news
17、to feel better, Mary would feel ignored and neglected. She would persist in trying to get (make) him to talk when he didnt want to. Coping with stress on Mars2 and Venus35 When a Martian (火星人) gets (becomes) upset he never talks about what is bothering him. He would never burden (vt. bother) another
18、 Martian with his problem unless his friends assistance (help) was necessary to solve the problem. Instead (On the contray) he becomes very quiet and goes to his private cave4 (corner) to think about his problem, mulling it over to find a (to solve a problemto answer a question) solution. When he ha
19、s found a solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave.6 If he cant find a solution then he does something to forget his problems, like (such as) reading the news or playing a game. By disengaging (release) his mind (brain) from the problems of his day, gradually he can relax. If his str
20、ess is really great it takes (needs) getting involved with something even more challenging, like (such as) racing (drving) his car, (compete-) competing in a contest, or climbing a mountain.7 When a Venusian (woman) becomes upset (nervous) or is stressed by her day, to find relief, she seeks out (fi
21、nd) someone she trusts and then talks in great detail about the problems of her day. When Venusians (women) share feelings of being overwhelmed, they suddenly feel better. This is the Venusian (woman) way. Finding relief in the cave.8 When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind
22、 (心灵的空间/时间：独处的时刻) and focus on solving a problem. He generally (usually) picks (choose) the most urgent problem or the most difficult. He becomes so focused (absorbed) on solving this one problem that he temporarily loses awareness of everything else. Other problems and responsibilities fade into th
23、e background (退到幕后).9 At such times (at such moments), he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in his relationships. His full awareness (conscience) is not present because he is mulling (thinking) over his problem, hoping to find a solution. The more stressed he is,
24、 the more gripped (occupied聚精会神) by the problem he will be. At such times he is incapable of giving a woman the attention and feeling that she normally (usually) receives and certainly deserves. If, however, he can find a solution, instantly (immediately/ at once) he will feel much better and come o
25、ut of his cave; suddenly he is available (free) for being in a relationship again. 10 However, if he cannot find a solution to his problem, then he remains (stick: n./vi.) stuck (cornered) in the cave. To get (free) unstuck (released) he is drawn to solving little problems, like (such as) reading th
26、e news, watching TV, driving his car, doing physical exercise, watching a football game, playing basketball, and (so on and) so forth. Any challenging activity that (initiate-) initially (=previously) requires only 5 percent of his mind (mental energy脑力) can assist (help) him in forgetting his probl
27、ems and becoming unstuck. Then the next day he can redirect his focus to his problem with greater success (=more successfully). be at sb.s wits endFinding relief through talking11 When a woman is stressed she instinctively feels a need to talk about her feelings and all the possible problems that ar
28、e associated with her feelings. When she begins talking she does not (priority-) prioritize the significance of any problem. If she is upset, then she is upset about it all, (no mater it is) big and small. She is not (medium介质) immediately concerned with (=worry about sth./ sb.) finding solutions to
29、 her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. By randomly talking about her problems, she becomes less upset (nervous).12 As a man under stress tends to (likely) focus on one problem and forget others, a woman under stress tends to expand and become overwhelmed (d
30、efeated) by all problems. By talking about all possible problems without focusing on problem solving she feels better. Through exploring her feelings in this process (过程) she gains (gets) a greater awareness (understanding) of what is really bothering her, and then suddenly she is no longer (not anymore不再) so overwhelmed.13 To feel better, women talk about past problems, future problems, potential problems, even problems that have no solutions. The more talk and exploration, the better they feel. This is the way women operate (live). To expect other
