1、Friends老友记第一季第22集TheIckFactorThe One With the Ick FactorWritten by: Alexa JungeTranscribed by: Mikael Hedberg(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.) Monica: Tell him.Rachel: No.Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.Monica: Just.please tell him.Rachel: Shut up!Chandler: Tell me what?Monica: Look at you, you w
2、ont even look at him.Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women wont look at me.Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were.Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)Chandler: Wow!Joey: Exellent drea
3、m score.Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good.Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, Im allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around t
4、he table.Ross: I love it, when we share.(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)Chandler: Youre okay there?Ross: I cant belive you two had sex in her dream.Chandler: Im sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody elses subconscious.Opening CreditsScene: Central
5、Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.Chandler: Hello Rachel.Rachel: Get off.Phoebe: (points at Joeys pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?Joey: I dont know. What are you wearing?(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)Ross: Pheebs, why would you want
6、 to operate a drill press?Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.Chandler: Pirates again?Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just.such a dummie. I taught this massage-yourself-at-home-workshop. And they are.Joey: Hey, hey, Chan. She could work f
7、or you.Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, thats a good idea.Phoebe: What. I could, I could do it. What is it?Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) Its a whole big boob story.Phoebe: I could be a secretary.Ch
8、andler: Well, you know Phoebs. I dont know if its your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.Phoebe: I could do that.(Rosss beeper goes off)Rachel: What are you playing with?Ross: Oh, its my new beeper.Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a
9、beeper for?Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. Help, come quick, theyre still extinct.Ross: No, its for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.Monica: All right, I
10、ll see you guys later. (raises)Rachel: Off to see young Ethan?Monica: Thank you.Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?Monica: Hes. our age.Chandler: When we were?Monica: Okay, hes a senior in college.Ross: College?Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?Monica: No, of c
11、ourse not. Its not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.All: What?Monica: Oh, I cant pass for 22?Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.Monica: I am 26.Phoebe: There you go.Scene: Chandlers office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.Chandler: Can you hear that?Phoebe: (plays with a thumbta
12、ck remover) Yeah?Chandler: See thatll stop when you pick up the phone.Phoebe: Oh. Uh, Im on. (picks up the phone)Phoebe: (with a deep voice) Mr. Bings office. (Listens) No Im sorry, hes in a meeting right now.Chandler: Im not in a meeting. Im right. Whoops.Phoebe: Will he know what this is in refere
13、nce to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, Ill see that he gets the message. Bye bye.Chandler: What?Phoebe: Ross says hi.Chandler: Ah!Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes tow
14、ard the door) Okay, Im gonna be out there.Chandler: Okay.Phoebe: All right. Bye bye.Chandler: Bye bye.(The intercom buzzes)Chandler: (answering it) Yes?Phoebe: Whatcha doin?Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)Scene: Monica and Rachels, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleanin
15、g the windows.Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belts to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I dont understand. I mean, youve been datin
16、g this guy since like, what. his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so. Oh.Monica: What?Rachel: Could tonight be the Night?Monica: I dont know. Look hes a great guy and I love being with him but. you know. Things happen, and they happen. You dont plan these things.Rachel: So, did you shave
17、 your legs?Monica: Yeah.Rachel: A-ha!Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesnt mean.(Rosss beeper goes off)Ross: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god its baby time. Baby time.Joey: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax.
18、Be cool, be cool.(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr?is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, Im sure. No, sir. I dont perform those kind of services.Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.Ross: (on phone
19、) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, thats right. Thats right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you dont want me. Judging by his number, Id be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.(Phoebe and Chandler enter)Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?Phoebe: Oh, exellent. Everyone wa
20、s so, so nice.Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.Phoebe: No, I didnt tell anybody that I knew you.Chandler: Why not?Phoebe: Oh, because, you know. they dont like you.Chandler: What?!Phoebe: I thought you knew that.Chandler: Noho. Who do
21、esnt they like me?Phoebe: Everyone. Except for uh. no everyone.Chandler: What are you talking about?Phoebe: Dont feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now youre like Mr. Boss Man. You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, Boss Man Bing.(Joey and Ross laughs)Ch
22、andler: I cant belive it.Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. They even do you.Chandler: They do me?Phoebe: You know like. uh okay. uh. Could that report be any later?(Joey and Ross laughs)Chandler: I dont sound like that.Ross: Oh, oh Chandler.Joey: Oh. Yeah, you do.Ross: The hills were alive with the sound of music
23、.(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)Joey: (reaches for hi scones) My scones.Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: My scones.(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)Chandler: Okay, I dont sound like that. That is so not true.(Joey and Chandler laughs)Chandler: That is so not. That is so not. That. Oh, shut up!(Phoebe, Joey
24、 and Ross laugh)Scene: Monica and Rachels, Monica and Young Ethan are sitting in the couch.Monica: Did not.Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.Monica: How was that possible?Young Ethan: Well, think about it. Its al
25、ways on the news. A man is being held up, at gunpoint. Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint. And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.Monica: Okay.(They kiss)Young Ethan: Okay.Monica: Unless.Young Ethan: What?Monica: Uh, ah. Unl
26、ess you wanna stay over? I mean, Im going to, so.Young Ethan: Yeah, Id really like that.(They kiss)Young Ethan: Uuh, before we get into any staying-over-stuff, there is something you should know.Monica: Okay, is this like I have an early class tomorrow or Im secretly married to a goat?Young Ethan: W
27、ell its somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, Im not uh., well I, I mean I havent ever uh.Monica: Ethan?Young Ethan: Yeah?Monica: Are you a virgin?Young Ethan: Well, if thats what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, Ive kinda been waiting for t
28、he right person.Monica: Really?Young Ethan: Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right?(They kiss)Time lapse. They are now in Monicas bedroom, on the bed.Young Ethan: Wow!Monica: You keep saying that.Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it
29、at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.(They kiss)Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.Young Ethan: Oh god, dont tell me, I did it wrong.Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that. Young Ethan: Oh.Mon
30、ica: Um, okay, here it goes. Im not 22. Im, Im 25. and thirteen months. Young Ethan: Huh!Monica: But I figured, you know, that shouldnt change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.(They kiss)Young Ethan: Uh, listen um, as long as were telling stuff, uh, I have another one fo
31、r you. Im a little younger than I said.Monica: Youre not a senior?Young Ethan: Oh, Im a senior. in High School.Monica: Ok.ay.Commercial BreakScene: Monicas Bedroom, continued from earlier.Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasnt alive during the Bicentennial.Young Ethan: I just had sex.Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?Young Ethan: Well, you never told me how old you were.Monica: Well, thats different. My l
