1、孩子们 吃早饭了Kids,breakfast!孩子们 Kids?菲尔 把他们叫下来好吗Phil,would you get them?好 等一下Yeah.Just a sec.孩子们Kids!-这真是 -算了-That is-Okay.孩子们 快下来Kids?Get down here!我们远在楼上 你们喊也没用Why are you guys yelling at us when were way upstairs?-发个短信不就行了 -那是不可能的-Just text me.-All right.Thats not gonna happen.你不能穿这套衣服出门And,wow!Youre
2、not wearing that outfit.这衣服怎么了Whats wrong with it?亲爱的 对你女儿这条裙子Honey,do you have anything to say-有什么意见吗 -不好意思-to your daughter about her skirt?-Sorry.-挺可爱的嘛 宝贝 -谢了-Oh,yeah.That looks really cute,sweetheart.-Thanks.不行 这裙子太短了No.Its way too short.大家知道你是女生People know youre a girl.没必要穿这么少给他们看You dont need
3、 to prove it to them.卢克又把头卡在栏杆里了Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.我去吧 婴儿油在哪儿第一季第一集第一季第一集I got it.Wheres the baby oil?在我们床头的 我不知道 你自己找Its on our bedside tab-I dont know.Find it.拜托Come on!菲尔&克莱尔 我在成长期间简直无法无天I was out of control growing up.你看 我坦白了There,you know?I said it.结婚16年 我只是不想让我的孩子I-I
4、 just dont want my kids.重蹈我的覆辙to make the same bad mistakes I made.只要海莉没有半裸着在佛罗里达沙滩上醒来I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida,half-naked,我就算完成我的任务了Ive done my job.-我俩的任务 -对-Our job.-Right.我就算完成了我俩的任务Ive done our job.加油 曼尼 踢球啊 踢啊Vamos,Manny!Kick it!Kick it!别让他 踢啊Dont let him-Kick it!曼尼 加油 往右跑
5、 往右Manny,go!A la derecha!A la derecha!不 不 不要啊No!No,no.他下绊子 杰 怎么没人吹犯规He tripped him,Jay.Wheres the penalty?歌洛莉亚 他们已经落后了6个球Gloria,theyre 0 and 6.你小点声叫喊Lets take it down a 杰&歌洛莉亚 结婚6个月 我们是不同世界的人Were very different.杰来自城市Jays from the city.他的生意做得很大He has a big business.我来自一个小山村I come from a small village
6、.穷困潦倒 但风景怡人Very poor but very,very beautiful.我们村拥有全哥伦比亚最多的Its the number one village in all Colombia for all the-那个词怎么说来着Whats the word?凶杀案Murders.没错 凶杀案Yes.The murders.曼尼 拦住他Manny,stop him!拦住他 你可以的Stop him!You can do it!你真烂 曼尼Damn it,Manny!教练 该让那孩子下场了Come on,coach.You gotta take that kid out.你想让他下场
7、吗 不如我让你下场如何You wanna take him out?How about I take you out?-亲爱的 -你还是操心你的儿子吧-Honey,honey.-Why dont you worry about your son?他整个上半场光忙着抓裤裆了He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!那话我6周来一直想对她说来着Ive wanted to tell her off for the last six 我叫乔希 莱恩的爸爸Im Josh.Ryans dad.我叫歌洛莉亚普里契特 曼尼的妈妈Hi,Im Glori
8、a Pritchett.Mannys mother.-这位是你父亲吧 -她父亲?-Oh,and this must be your dad.-Her dad?-是啊 -不 不是 真搞笑-Yeah.-No,no.Thats funny.怎么可能 我是她老公Actually,no,Im her husband.别被外表给骗了Dont be fooled by the,uh-稍等片刻Give me a second here.谁是乖宝宝啊 是谁啊 Who is a good girl?Whos that?是谁啊Whos that?-她真可爱 -谢谢-Oh,shes adorable.-Oh,than
9、k you.你好 小公主Hi,precious.Hello.我们刚从越南领养了她Uh,we just,uh-We just adopted her from Vietnam.这是我们第一次带她回家And were bringing her home for the first time,huh?她像个小天使 你们夫妻俩一定很激动Shes an angel.You and your wife must be thrilled.抱歉 我来晚了 老爹去买点心了Sorry,sorry,sorry.Daddy needed snacks.大家在聊什么呢So,what are we talking abo
10、ut?我们在一起已经.5年了吧?Uh,we have been together for-guh,five-five years now?我们非常想要一个孩子And,uh,we just-we decided we really wanted to have a baby.米奇尔&卡梅隆 一开始 我们想找一个So,we had initially asked one of our 女同性恋朋友做代孕母亲lesbian friends to be a surrogate,but-后来又想 她们平时就够刻薄了Then we figured,theyre already mean enough.你能
11、想象她们怀孕后会如何变本加厉吗Can you imagine one of em pregnant?Pregnant,no.还是算了吧 想想就怕No,thank you.Ick.你看到没 大家本来在逗莉莉玩You saw that,right?Everybody fawning over Lily,你一走进来 他们就装作and then you walk on and suddenly its all,看机上购物杂志Ooh,SkyMall.考虑买个电动领带架什么的I gotta buy a motorized tie rack.我得教育一下这帮人All right,you know,Im go
12、nna give the speech.千万别这么做You are not giving the speech.你还得和他们一起呆上5小时呢Youre gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours.好吧 你说得对 我错了Youre right,youre right.Okay.Im sorry.Cream Puffs 意为泡芙或者娘娘腔-你看那个拿着泡芙的宝宝 -好吧 够了-Look at that baby with those cream puffs.-Okay.Excuse me.不好意思Excuse me.这宝宝原本可
13、能会在人满为患的孤儿院里成长This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage 多亏我们这些娘娘腔收养呢if it wasnt for us Cream puffs.-你们这些搞歧视的人 -米奇尔-And you know what?Note to all of you who judge-Mitchell!给我听好了 爱不分种族 信仰Hear this.Love knows no race,creed-不分性别Or gender.-我为你们感到羞耻 -米奇尔-And shame on you,-Mitchell.-你们这些狭隘愚昧的 -米
14、奇尔-you small-minded,ignorant few-Mitchell!-干嘛 -人家说的是泡芙-What?-Shes got the cream puffs.各位的耳机费我们请了We would like to pay for everyones headsets.摩登家庭第一季第一集 兄弟 你怎么老是卡在这里面Buddy.Why do you keep getting stuck like this?我以为这次能拔出来呢I thought I could get out this time.我直说了吧 他得去检查一下智商Im just gonna say it.He needs
15、 to be checked by a specialist.好了 你自由了There.Be free.亚瑟王之剑拔出来了Excalibur.-今天我有朋友来家里玩 -谁啊-Im having a friend over today.-Who?-你不认识他 -是个男生吗-Uh,you dont know him.-Him?Him?哇 男生 你会和他亲嘴吗Ooh,a boy.You gonna kiss him?-闭嘴 -别激动 别激动-Shut up.-Easy.Easy.-闭嘴 -你才闭嘴-Yeah,shut up!-No,you shut up!卢克和艾丽克斯 你们俩出去解决好吗Luke,
16、Alex,why dont you take it outside,okay?怎么解决And do what?-在太阳下决斗 不错吧 -海莉-Fight in the sun.Itll be a nice change.-Haley.-我逗你们玩呢 -是谁要来-Im kidding.-Whos the boy?他叫迪兰His name is Dylan.我还是别让他来算了I might as well tell him not to come.不然你们又得让我丢脸Because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.亲爱的 等等Sweeti
17、e,hang on a second.你15岁了 还是第一次有男生来家里Youre 15,and its the first time youve had a boy over.我是有点小吃惊Im bound to be a little surprised,可我不会让你丢脸的but Im not gonna embarrass you.我去给摄像机充好电I better charge the camcorder.逗你玩呢 别这样 也不看看我是谁Im kidding.Come on.Who are you talking to?我是酷老爹 这是我的风格Im the cool dad.Thats
18、-Thats my thing.我酷毙了 我会上网Im hip.I-I surf the Web.我会发短信 LOL意思是癫狂笑 I text.LOL-Laugh out loud.OMG意思是饿滴神OMG-Oh,my God.WTF意思是苦逼脸WTF-Why the face?WTF=What the FUCK意思是搞毛啊 歌舞青春里所有的舞我都会跳Um,you know,I know all the dances to High School Musical,so-*我们现在欢聚一堂*Were all in this together*没错*Yes,we are*我们都是大明星 嘻唰唰嘻唰
19、唰*Were all stars Something,something you know it*-妈妈 爸爸 -什么事-Mom!Dad!-What happened?-卢克用枪射我 -我不是故意的-Luke just shot me!-I didnt mean to.-你没事吧 -没事才怪-Are you okay?-No.这小贱人用枪射我The little bitch shot me.-别说脏话 -只是塑料枪 这是意外-Language!Theyre only plastic BBs.It was an accident.早就告诉你 给他枪就会出事What did I tell you
20、would happen if you got him a gun?-你看着办吧 -老弟 是你不对哦-Deal with this.-Buddy,uncool.这就完了吗 不行 不行Thats it?Thats-No,no,no,no.我们说好他用枪射了别人 你就得射他的The agreement was that if he shoots someone,you shoot him.-我们当时是认真的吗 -当然是真的-We were serious about that?-Yes,we were.所以你现在要按说好的执行And now you have to follow through.-
21、我错了 -你就装吧-Im so sorry.-Liar.-去吧 -他还要去参加生日会呢-Go.-Hes got a birthday party.生日会和家法哪个更重要 爸爸Whats more important here,Dad?你可以之后再射他 他两点就能到家You can shoot him afterwards.Hell be home at 2:00.两点不行I cant shoot him at 2:我两点还得带人去看房子Im showing a house at 2:00.-三点吧 -不行 三点他有足球赛-What about 3:00?-No,hes got a soccer
22、 game at 3:00.然后我们五点就得去赴宴And then-Oh,we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00.4点15吧 你可以在那时候射他4:15.You could shoot him at 4:15.行 那个时候我有空Yeah,I guess that works for me.Oh!-射卢克 -抱歉老弟 铁板钉钉了-Shoot Luke.-Sorry,dude.Its on the calendar.别这样啊Oh,come on!我不想踢足球了 那是小孩儿玩的Im quitting soccer.It is a game for c
23、hildren.不 你不能放弃No,youre not quitting.对方之所以会进球You would have stopped that goal 完全是因为你光顾着看小姑娘了if you werent staring at that little girl.她不是小姑娘 她是成熟的女人She is not a girl.Shes a woman.歌洛莉亚 你犯得着非要和You know,Gloria,that little blowup with that other mom 那个妈妈吵架吗Why do you have to do things like that?如果有人敢对我的
24、家人说三道四If somebody says something about my family,-我一定 -我只是说-Im going to-Im just saying.你火气应该小一点 就这样You could take it down here a little bit.Thats all.没错 你总是这么忍气吞声的Oh,yeah.Cause thats where you live,down here.-可我咽不下这口气 -可是-But I live up here!-Yeah,but,我只是说 你别那么容易激动嘛you dont have to be so emotional al
25、l the time.Thats all Im saying.曼尼 你也这么觉得吧Manny,youre with me on this,right?我要告诉布兰达费德曼我爱她I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.-天啊 -曼尼 她都16岁了-Oh,for God sakes.-Manny,shes 16.你不就找了年长的对象吗Oh.Its okay for you to take an older lover?-嘿 说话注意点 -我要去她上班的商场-Hey,watch it.-I wanna go to the mall where she works
26、.不过我先得换上我的白衬衫 丝绸的那件But first I need to get my white shirt,the silk one.好吧 如果你真想这么做的话Okay.If thats what you really want to do.说真的 不是我要当恶毒的后爹Seriously.Not to be the evil stepdad,可你要真穿着那臃肿的白衬衣but if you put on a puffy white shirt.去向16岁的姑娘告白and declare your love for a 16-year-old,你会被扒得只剩条白内裤youre gonna
27、be swinging from the flagpole 然后被吊在旗杆上in your puffy white underpants.-停车 -你去哪儿-Stop the car.-Oh,where are you going?看到没 你伤他的心了See?You hurt his feelings.要是这能让他变得坚强点Ah-Well,if it toughens him up a little bit then-我的妈呀 他居然去采野花了Oh,geez.Hes picking flowers.曼尼是个多情种 和他爹一个样Mannys very passionate,just like h
28、is 我的前夫 风度翩翩 但太疯狂了My first husband-hes very handsome,but too crazy.我们不是在吵架就是在做爱It seemed like all we did was fight and make love,吵架 做爱 吵架 做爱fight and make love,fight and make love.说真的 有一次 我们从窗口摔下去了One time,Im not kidding you,we fell out the window together.你们当时在吵架还是做爱Which-Which one were you doing?我
29、也是第一次听说这事Im hearing this for the first time.你不担心吗This doesnt worry you?她在飞机上就没怎么睡 现在还很清醒She barely slept on the plane and shes still wide awake.-别想多了 -不想才怪-Oh,stop worrying.-I cant.那个孤儿院里都是女人That-That orphanage was all women.也许离开女性柔软的怀抱 她就睡不着 Maybe she just-she cant fall asleep unless she feels a wo
30、mans shape.-有可能 -那你抱着她-I guess thats possible.-So here.你这话是什么意思What the hell is that supposed to mean?没错 Yes,在等待领养孩子的期间 我是长胖了一点Ive gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby,过程相当艰辛which has been very difficult.但显然你的身体会But apparently your body 产生一些母性的本能反应does a nesting,very maternal,p
31、rimal thing.来储存养分where it retains nutrients-像是分子生理学那类的some sort of molecular physiology thing.那是科学事实But thats science.人类 根本无力抵抗You cant-You cant fight it,so-我没别的意思 -你就是话里有话-Im not saying anything.-Youre saying everything.-数到3 -1 2-Count to three.-One,two-3 -好吧-Three.-Okay.-小卡 真美 -我的天 你喜欢吗-Oh,Cam.Thi
32、s is beautiful.-Oh,my God.Do you love it?当然 我Yes,I-这是什么玩意What the hell is that?我让安珠尔趁我们不在时画的I had Andre do it while we were gone.那是我俩吗 还长着翅膀 Is that us,with wings?我们在她的上方 永远守护着她Were floating above her,always there to protect her.这真让人心安 对吧 莉莉Okay.Well,thats reassuring,right,Lily?我们把你从熟悉的环境中抢出来Yes,we
33、tore you away from everything you know,可别担心 新环境一切正常but dont worry,things are normal here.你的大爸二爸可是飞天小精灵哦Your fathers are floating fairies.不行 你能叫安珠尔No,can you call Andre,重新画点不那么基情的东西吗have him paint something a little less gay?另外 我们也该少和安珠尔往来By the way,we need to stop having friends 他名字也太娘了with names like Andre.-红发老爹怒火旺盛 -我才不是-Redheaded dad is angry daddy.-No,Im not.你就是Yes,you are.回来的路上 连胡娇都看出来了Even
